Me No Horny

Comedian Jim Jeffries – a man I consider a leftist hack, but whatever – set off to Japan to make a comedy video, and he found something rather amazing: apparently, Japanese millennials are not having sex. At all.

In the video, Jeffries interviews “four single Japanese millennials” to find out what their thoughts are on dating. While the lineup may be controversial — with the inclusion of a maid and a Japanese YouTuber who once faced criticism for racist comments — the answers they provide to Jeffries’ questions suggest that some men may be intimidated by women, preferring to sit back and wait for them to make the first move instead.

As they discuss the issue further, it becomes apparent that “as women become more empowered, men need to update their vision of an ideal mate“. And while some of the difficulties they face in finding a perfect partner aren’t all that different from other countries, there’s a stark difference in one of the reasons given for the low birthrate, as suggested by the manager of a Tokyo marriage agency.

So wait, millennial soy-boys aren’t coveted by the deliciously desirable Japanese babes? Wow, you could have knocked me down with Godzilla. Ladies, if you’re searching for real men with which to knock boots, fly to the states and contact a few American conservatives. You will not be disappointed.

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Seattle Public Schools: Math Is Racist

A committee from the Seattle Public School System has decided math is now not only racist, but also a tool for oppression. So wait, does that mean their Common Core pet project can be jettisoned now?

The Seattle Public Schools Ethnic Studies Advisory Committee (ESAC) released a rough draft of notes for its Math Ethnic Studies framework in late September, which attempts to connects math to a history of oppression.

The framework is broken into four different themes: “Origins, Identity, and Agency,” “Power and Oppression,” “History of Resistance and Liberation,” and “Reflection and Action.”

The committee suggests that math is subjective and racist, saying under one section, “Who gets to say if an answer is right,” and under another, “how is math manipulated to allow inequality and oppression to persist?”

The good news is since most public school teachers are little more than servants to their union overlords, not one educator will stand up to this buffoonery. Why make a scene when you’re hauling in those sweet, sweet taxpayer-funded paychecks, amirite?

Fly Into The Danger Zone!

Meet Sineenat Wongvajirapakdi. (Yeah, I think I’ll just call her Cindy.)

Cindy is the consort of King Vajiralongkorn of Thailand, and recently she has fallen out of favor with her liege. Why, you ask? Apparently this delicious specimen tried to usurp the queen’s power.

Thailand’s King Vajiralongkorn has stripped his royal consort of her rank and titles over “misbehaviour and disloyalty against the monarch”. She was appointed in July, just two months after the king’s marriage to Queen Suthida, his fourth wife.

An official announcement said Sineenat Wongvajirapakdi was “ambitious” and had tried to “elevate herself to the same state as the queen”. “The royal consort’s behaviours were considered disrespectful,” it said.

Sineenat, who was a major-general and is a trained pilot, nurse and bodyguard, was the first person to be awarded the title of Royal Noble Consort in nearly a century.

Guys, if you search for Cindy on teh innernetz, you will not be disappointed. Honestly, I’m surprised the king didn’t jettison his wife – by catapult – in favor of this fantastic lass.

You Dropped A Bomb On Me

Wow, the United States military certainly holds a grudge. An unexploded World War II bomb was found near the Bolzano, Italy train station. Guys, you won; there’s no reason to spike the ball 75 years later!

Italian authorities evacuated 4,000 people from the center of the northern city of Bolzano on Sunday to defuse a World War II bomb found during construction.

Three experts defused the 500-pound American bomb during a three-hour operation that also forced 60,000 people to stay in their homes and closed sporting complexes and churches.

An alarm signaled the all-clear to reopen the city center just before noon, as well as a nearby north-south highway and rail line both connecting Italy with Austria and Germany.

The bomb was found close to the city’s central cathedral and not far from the train station — the likely wartime target — during excavation work for a new shopping center.

The Italian government has stated they are stopping all exports of wine and spaghetti in protest.

Not Wise, Not Honest

A North Korean cargo tanker impounded by Indonesia has been given to the U.S. after the ship was found to be in violation of U.S. Sanctions. The best part about the Trump presidency is all the winning.

Wise Honest, a 17,061-ton carrier ship and one of North Korea’s largest bulk vessels, was awarded to the United States, the U.S. Justice Department said.

The ship was intercepted by Indonesian authorities in April 2018. On inspection, the vessel was found to contain North Korean coal, which the supply, transfer and sale of is prohibited under U.N. Security Council sanctions, the United States said.

According to a complaint filed by federal prosecutors in May, from at least November 2016 to its detention, the vessel exported North Korean coal to foreign buyers and imported heavy machinery back to the hermetic country. Prosecutors said that those involved in the conspiracy falsified documents to conceal the origins of the ship and its cargo. (H/T – TXNick)

Elizabeth Warren immediately declared if she wins the presidency, the coal will be dumped into the sea before it affects climate change. Warren would do it “for the children.”

Auntie Em, Auntie Em!

You may have seen TXNick’s comment during yesterday’s True Detective Stories, Dallas was hit with sever thunderstorms, high winds… and a tornado Monday. The tornado passed within a mile of the University of Dallas, and touched down near Love Field.

Kyle and his fellow students were shelter-in-place – thankfully for only five or ten minutes – but he’s okay. I’m sure he would like to have a word with TXNick about not mentioning twisters, but that conversation can come later over chicken and waffles.

Some crazy person also caught footage of the tornado moving through Dallas, because YOLO, and you can see it by clicking this link. It’s kinda scary, but I guess it’s better than living in Kansas or Oklahoma.

Here’s hoping everyone is okay, and the damages aren’t too substantial.

Oh, the weather cleared so quickly, Kyle and his friends were still able to attend last night’s Dallas Stars game, where they beat the Ottawa Senators by a score of 2-1.

Caption Contest Winners

The Free Hugs! Caption Contest is now over.

Top Five Entries:
5. Lice and body odor are also free! – Ronni
4. It’s like the guys that stand outside of a sporting event with a sign that says “I need a ticket” when they are really scalping tickets. – Ingineer66
3. Jennifer Lawrence has really let herself go. – Barry D.
2. Tulsi Gabbard’s campaign may have hit a new low! – Proof

WINNER! – Well, she does look like she needs a hug… I’d still have to charge her twenty bucks though… – Sully

Red Soda Cup, You (Don’t) Fill Me Up

Editor’s Note: This post is listed under Flori-Duh, but the idiot in this story hails from the Bronx.

A man is suing Universal Studios after he was forced to wait a short time to refill his “unlimited refill” cup.

A Bronx man is suing NBC Universal after he paid for an “unlimited refill” soda machine deal at one of the company’s theme parks — only to discover he had to wait a whole 10 minutes between each pour.

Luis Arnaud is bubbling with anger over the “false advertising” — saying he learned while trying to “quench his thirst” that the refills were in fact “limited” to a measly “total of only six per hour,” according to the class-action lawsuit filed in Manhattan federal court Thursday.

I’ve been to Disney World twice in August, and yes, the temperatures are oppressive. That said, I never had to gulp down a drink then immediately down another one. Not to mention Disney World and Universal Studios have water fountains stationed around the parks. This lawsuit is completely frivolous, and Arnaud should be ashamed of himself.

Arnaud says he visited Universal’s Island of Adventure in Orlando, Fla., on July 30 and bought a 16-ounce “Coca-Cola Freestyle” cup — which purported to come with “unlimited” refills all day — for $16.99. The next day, he reactivated the cup at Universal’s sister theme park Volcano Bay for $8.99.

The cups come with a computer chip to show you’ve paid for the bottomless deal — but Arnaud learned they were also tracking how often users top up, and are “programmed” to limit refills to every 10 minutes.

TEN MINUTES?!!! That’s an outrage! I mean, the crew of the USS Indianapolis spent four days in the ocean, without water, and fighting off sharks, but this guy paid $16.99! Someone please deliver a dump truck full of money to Mr. Arnaud’s residence, post haste!

And refill the truck every ten minutes.

Gabbard, Gabbard, Hey!

Hillary Clinton, the woman who offered American uranium to Russia, who offered a “Reset Button” to Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov, and who gleefully enlisted Russia to help her win the 2016 presidential election, has now determined Hawaii Representative Tusli Gabbard is a “Russian asset.”

Democratic Hawaii Rep. Tulsi Gabbard fired back at former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton on Friday for calling her an agent of Russia, tweeting that Clinton is the “personification of the rot” that has taken over the Democratic Party.

In a series of tweets, Gabbard slammed Clinton for being the “queen of warmongers” and accused her of using “proxies” to oppose Gabbard’s presidential campaign because the congresswoman wants to pull the U.S. out of endless wars in the Middle East.

“You, the queen of warmongers, embodiment of corruption, and personification of the rot that has sickened the Democratic Party for so long, have finally come out from behind the curtain,” Gabbard wrote. “It’s now clear that this primary is between you and me. Don’t cowardly hide behind your proxies. Join the race directly.”

I’m no fan of Gabbard’s – in my opinion, most of her positions are kooky – but the fact she fought back against this deranged, drunken, stumble-bum earns my respect. Honestly, the notion Clinton is attacking anyone in politics after her abysmal record is truly stupefying.

Sadly, Hillary will never, ever go away.

True Detective Stories

Saturday was a rare slow, sleepy day. We only handled nineteen jobs – yes, that’s a slow day – and for the most part, the clowns behaved themselves. So when the phone started ringing, I gleefully answered, because how bad could it be, right?

A patrol officer had recovered a previously stolen vehicle, and said the message on his computer stated it was coded “Guard for Prints.” That designation is almost exclusively for vehicles which were carjacked, or otherwise involved in a violent crime. I told the officer to hold the car, get it towed to our impound garage, and send us the paperwork.

Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

A few minutes later, the officer calls again. He said the tow squad were refusing to transport the vehicle because it was assigned to my division instead of the Major Crimes Unit. I responded with, “Officer, it’s listed as Guard for Prints. Call the tow squad, and tell them to get their fat asses out to the f**king scene!”

I was irritated because every minute on that street means there’s less chance we’ll be able to process it correctly.