Obama Illegally Spied On Americans

While the media is continuing their six-month long “OMG, TRUMP RUSSIA!” marathon, real news outlets have uncovered this story. It’s nothing major; just a story detailing how the Obama administration illegally spied on Americans… for five years.

The National Security Agency under former President Barack Obama routinely violated American privacy protections while scouring through overseas intercepts and failed to disclose the extent of the problems until the final days before Donald Trump was elected president last fall, according to once top-secret documents that chronicle some of the most serious constitutional abuses to date by the U.S. intelligence community.

More than 5 percent, or one out of every 20 searches seeking upstream Internet data on Americans inside the NSA’s so-called Section 702 database violated the safeguards Obama and his intelligence chiefs vowed to follow in 2011.

Wait, the Obama administration both lied and violated the constitution? I. Am. Shocked.

The American Civil Liberties Union said the newly disclosed violations are some of the most serious to ever be documented and strongly call into question the U.S. intelligence community’s ability to police itself and safeguard American’s privacy as guaranteed by the Constitution’s Fourth Amendment protections against unlawful search and seizure.

The ACLU is claiming this, and they are not exactly a bastion of conservatism. Normally I would expect the media to cover an incident which contains actual, verifiable evidence of a crime, but they’re busy scouring the Earth for evidence of “OMG, TRUMP RUSSIA!”

Killer Clowns From Mile-High Space

A clown has been arrested after stabbing a man to death in the Mile High City.

Denver police have arrested a man who was wearing clown makeup when he allegedly stabbed and slashed a 29-year-old man to death with a glove that had blades attached to the end of each finger.

Christian Lee Gulzow, 36, allegedly attacked the victim at 12:49 a.m. Tuesday following an argument near Torchy’s Tacos at West 11th Avenue and Broadway. The Denver coroner’s office identified the victim as Brian Lucero, 29. The cause of death was a stab wound, according to a coroner’s office news release.

Torchy’s Tacos? Does the burning emanate in the mouth or out the rear?

The suspect, wearing white clown makeup accented with black streaks on the face, suddenly began threatening the victim with a glove with blades that were 2- to 3-inches long. They were near the Corner Store at West 10th Avenue and Broadway.

Gulzow began pummeling the victim, who tried to dodge the blows, the police report says. The victim eventually punched the suspect, who then yelled at the victim and followed him to Torchy’s.

Is this a bad episode of the Red Skelton Show or an even worse episode of X-Men: Wolverine?

Gulzow allegedly fled on a scooter, the police report says.

So a clown stabs a man with Freddy Krueger gloves, then makes his getaway on a scooter? Yep, it’s official; I have now heard everything.

Gunfight At The Oh No Corral

Meet Robert C. Ahorner of East Troy, Wisconsin. The “C” stands for “cray-cray.”

Robert’s wife recently caught him watching pr0n, and in a measured reaction, Robert retired to his room to contemplate his life choices.

The wife told deputies she argued with Ahorner about 5 p.m. because he was looking at porn on the internet. Ahorner grabbed his then-unloaded 9mm semi-automatic pistol, pointed it at his penis and pulled the trigger.

Damn son, that’ll show her!!

“If I’m not using it, I might as well shoot it off,” Robert C. Ahorner, 57, formerly of N7270 Highway 120, East Troy, told his wife during the argument.

Well, he’s got a point there, but what could elicit such a response?

Ahorner admitted to drinking a 12-pack of beer the day of the incident. He said he started drinking about noon.

There it is. Of course in fairness, Robert may have just been tired of his nymphomaniac wife…

Continue reading “Gunfight At The Oh No Corral”

Tame Tweet Triggers Touchy Trolls

Imagine how awesome 2017 America must be when the outrage of the day revolves around the wording in an innocuous tweet.

The official “Star Wars” Twitter account deleted a joke Monday featuring the word “triggered” after Twitter users denounced it as insensitive.

“Triggered,” tweeted the Star Wars account, along with a graphic describing an exchange between Anakin Skywalker and a droid, according to a screen shot of the tweet and its criticism.

Naturally, the Shrieking Lunatic Guild could not let that stand, so they sent a deluge of liberal outrage to the Outer Rim.

“Wow, a joke mocking people with PTSD, used by the same kind of people who have Pepe icons and are ‘ironic’ Nazis,” remarked another user. “How hilarious.”

Wow, a leftist used a Nazi reference. How… unexpected. The account managers, which are more Jar Jar than Death Star, immediately bowed to the harpies and deleted the tweet.

Terror Attack In Manchester

In an all too familiar scene, England has been the victim of another terrorist attack; this time inside the Manchester Arena during an Ariana Grande concert.

Many of those in attendance were teenagers and younger.

AT least 19 are dead and about 50 injured after an explosion rocked an Ariana Grande concert in a “terror” attack at the Manchester Arena last night. Many of those killed are feared to be youngsters watching the popstar, who just left stage.

Witnesses reported hearing a “massive bang” before screaming crowds rushed out of the venue with police confirming the explosion is being treated as a “terrorist incident”.

As bomb squads worked at the scene to carry out a controlled explosion of another suspected device Greater Manchester Police said: “Just before 10.35pm on Monday 22 May 2017 police were called to reports of an explosion at Manchester Arena.

Police believe the device was a nail bomb; basically a pipe filled with nails, screws, and any other items which can be used as shrapnel.

While I am saddened at what England has become after the silent Muslim invasion, the fact police are treating this is an act of terrorism gives me hope they are finally awakening.

Caption Contest Winners

The Stand And Deliver Caption Contest has now concluded.

Top Five Entries:
5. Damn girl! Now, that’s how you salute the Fatherland! – William
4. Now, Helga, make the eagle flap its wings. – Jim
3. Fritz, your estrogen shots are having a dramatic effect. How will you now self identify? – RG
2. What knockers…. Thank you Frau Blücher… (Horses whinny in background.) – Sully

WINNER! – The Germans consider their udder failure on the Eastern Front. – Mike AKA Proof

The Oxford Karma

Meet Lavinia Woodward.

Lavinia is a student at Oxford University who majors in medical science and minors in alcohol and drugs. Sadly, the aspiring heart surgeon does not attend psychiatry classes.

Lavinia Woodward, 24, swiped at her boyfriend with the blade, before stabbing him in the leg. She then hurled a laptop, a glass and a jam jar at him, during the drink and drug-fuelled clash at Christ Church college, Oxford.

Judge Ian Pringle said the offence would normally mean a prison term, but instead delayed sentencing and slapped her with a restraining order to stay drug-free and not to re-offend.

“It seems to me that if this was a one-off, a complete one-off, to prevent this extraordinary able young lady from not following her long-held desire to enter the profession she wishes to, would be a sentence which would be too severe.”

So this drug-addled psychopath will avoid prison because she’s pretty and she promised to turn her life around? What happened to the good old days when we threw people like this into the Tower of London?

Defending, James Sturman QC said his client’s dreams of becoming a surgeon were ‘almost impossible’ as her conviction would have to be disclosed.

Well, if nothing else, we know Lavinia is good with a knife.

Eating Their Own

Whatever your opinion of the GOP, at least they are not the only political party imploding.

State Democrats’ three-day convention had a raucous start Friday, as liberal activists booed and heckled Democratic National Committee Chair Tom Perez after marching from the state Capitol to promote a universal health care program.

The leader of the nurses’ union that opposed Perez’s recent election had just warned California Democrats that they would put up primary election challengers against lawmakers if they don’t support a bill to create public-funded, universal healthcare.

“Vote them out,” the crowd chanted back, referring to Democrats in the Legislature wavering on whether to support their cause.

These morons still fail to realize universal healthcare isn’t free, and someone – namely the working people – need to pay for it. But hey, it’s not my job to keep political parties from killing themselves.

Houston, She Has A Problem

An unidentified woman caused a traffic jam after she decided to slowly walk in the middle of Interstate 45 while talking on her cellphone.

Facebook user Jefe De Jefes posted a video Monday showing the young woman walking against traffic between two lanes of Interstate 45 in Houston.

The girl, clad in a tank top, shorts, and boots, is seen talking on her cellphone and walking along the white line separating two lanes.

“Get off the freeway!” a man’s voice yells, causing the woman to look back in surprise.

Sadly, the woman did not wind up winning a Darwin Award, so she is free to pollute the Earth with eventual offspring. You can see the video at the link. It is absolutely astounding.

Sunday Services

What better way to celebrate a Sunday than by profiling everyone’s favorite Christian, Tim Tebow?

Timothy Richard Tebow (born August 14, 1987) is a former professional American football player (playing three seasons in the NFL) and current professional baseball outfielder in the New York Mets organization. He played college football for the University of Florida, winning the Heisman Trophy in 2007 and appearing on BCS National Championship-winning teams during the 2006 and 2008 seasons. Tebow was selected by the Denver Broncos in the first round of the 2010 NFL Draft and spent two seasons with the team. He also played for the New York Jets in 2012.

No one can convince me Tebow’s faith had nothing to do with his release from the NFL. The man isn’t the second coming of Tom Brady, but he was infinitely better than a lot of current NFL quarterbacks. Lookin’ at you, Colin Kaepernick.

There are more photos below the fold…

Continue reading “Sunday Services”