Caption Contest Winners

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The Chuck And The Schmuck Caption Contest has now concluded.

Top Three Entries:
3. The Speaker is clearly embarrassed being next to such a tool. And we’re not talking about the hammer! – Proof
2. (Thought bubble over Ryan’s head) That idiot Schumer can’t even put another nail into America’s coffin correctly. – MelP

WINNER! – “No Chuck, manual labor isn’t the Mexican ambassador.” – Sully

I’m Hillary, And I’ll Be Your Server

hillary-clinton-and-barack-obama-laughingIn the aftermath of the Hillary Clinton e-mail server scandal, politicians and pundits alike are asking why the FBI declined to prosecute the Democratic nominee. After Friday’s document dump, the answer is clear.

The FBI had just shown [Huma Abedin] an old e-mail exchange, over Clinton’s private account, between the then-secretary of state and a second person, whose name Abedin did not recognize. The FBI then did what the FBI is never supposed to do: The agents informed their interviewee (Abedin) of the identity of the second person. It was the president of the United States, Barack Obama, using a pseudonym to conduct communications over a non-secure e-mail system — something anyone with a high-level security clearance, such as Huma Abedin, would instantly realize was a major breach.

Abedin was sufficiently stunned that, for just a moment, the bottomless capacity of Clinton insiders to keep cool in a scandal was overcome. “How is this not classified?”

Abedin knew an insurance policy when she saw one. If Obama himself had been e-mailing over a non-government, non-secure system, then everyone else who had been doing it had a get-out-of-jail-free card.

The president of the United States claimed he only heard about the home-brewed e-mail server by watching the news. The fact of the matter is Obama not only knew about the illegal server, but also transmitted classified information through it.

If a Republican president tried this he would be impeached; and rightly so.

Gimme A Ticket For An Aeroplane

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If there was ever any doubt about where Barack Obama’s allegiance lies, this story will clear it up.

Pastor Saeed Abedini, one of four American hostages released from Iran in January, shared his disbelief of Iranian president Hassan Rouhani’s [UN] speech.

“I was just telling people that imagine leader of ISIS come to the United States after 30 years of all the executions that they did and leaders of the world shaking his hand. It’s unbelievable,” Abedini said.

Abedini said he and other hostages were left to fend for themselves after flying from Iran to Germany when they were released after the Obama Administration’s $400 million payment to Iran. After spending a few days in a hospital in Germany, Adedini was surprised to hear that he needed to buy his own plane ticket home.

So Abedini and three other Americans are held hostage by these Iranian animals, physically and psychologically tortured for four years, and this administration does not even have the common courtesy to arrange for his transportation home? Is this really what America has become?

Fail To The Victors

michigan-wolverines-protest-national-anthemRegular readers probably know I am a huge Michigan Wolverines fan. I started following them when I was ten years old, and supported them through thick and thin.

Now, after 37 years, a ridiculous national anthem protest has thrown the Michigan football program into Philadelphia Eagles territory. The Wolverines are officially dead to me.

Players for the Michigan and Michigan State football teams were seen protesting the national anthem in their respective games Saturday.

The Wolverines and Spartans were the latest athletes to follow the example set by San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick, who sparked national discussion by first sitting — then kneeling — for the national anthem as a form of protest.

Several Michigan players were also seen raising gloved right hands prior to Michigan’s home game against Penn State.

My argument is this: if you are going to perform a black power salute, go all the way. Tell white America – especially white police officers – you do not need or want their support. Be open about it, and believe me, your white fans (and financial base) will go away quietly.

I will never watch another Michigan game again, and my Michigan apparel is going to Goodwill.

Sunday Services

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This week’s presentation is for my mom, who will be in the hospital until mid-week. Her favorite actor of all time is Tom Selleck, so Tom Selleck you shall receive.

Thomas William Selleck (born January 29, 1945) is an American actor and film producer. He is best known for his starring role as the Hawaii-based private investigator Thomas Magnum in the television series Magnum, P.I. (1980–1988). He also plays Police Chief Jesse Stone in a series of made-for-TV movies based on Robert B. Parker novels. Since 2010, he has also been a primary cast member as NYPD Commissioner Frank Reagan in the drama Blue Bloods on CBS.

Selleck has appeared in more than 50 film and television roles since Magnum, P.I., including Three Men and a Baby, Quigley Down Under, Mr. Baseball, and Lassiter.

Very few people can rock the mustache like Selleck. It’s uncanny.

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Quigley Down Under was on yesterday, and mom and I watched it in her hospital room. Mmm… Laura San Giacomo!

There are more photos below the fold.

Continue reading “Sunday Services”

They Call Him Mellow Yellow

kevin-yellow-belt-testAfter a terrible, terrible week with my mom’s hospital stay, it’s nice to be able to post some good news.

A few months ago, Kevin decided to try karate. He was never a fan of playing team sports and this seemed to suit him. Kevin took to it quickly, and was devastated after breaking his arm. Thankfully, his instructor said if Kevin wanted to,, he could continue his training, cast and all.

So the boy went a few times a week, continued his training, and took his first belt test yesterday – cast and all. Kevin did everything the other students did, and there were no breaks – punny – given to him.

I am proud to report he completed the test with flying colors and advanced from a white belt to a yellow belt. And again, he did so with a broken arm.

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Oh, for you longtime readers, Kevin’s sparring partner in the photo above is Captain America’s son Nick.

Ban Of Cleaves

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Meet Steve Cleavenger, the backup catcher for the Seattle Mariners. Well, for the time being, anyway.

Seattle Mariners catcher Steve Clevenger has been suspended for criticizing Black Lives Matter and President Obama.

This what America has become, an Orwellian dictatorship which punishes citizens for their thought-crimes. The First Amendment only protects certain speech, approved by our liberal betters.

“BLM is pathetic once again! Obama you are pathetic once again! Everyone involved should be locked behind bars like animals!” the backup catcher tweeted out about the riots in Charlotte.

Is Cleavenger’s analysis incorrect? The Black Lives Matter terrorists fought for “justice” in Charlotte by attacking white people, murdering a fellow protester, and looting businesses. Those people should be arrested,, and the ones who carried out the attacks, in my opinion, are animals.

He also tweeted, “Black people beating whites when a thug got shot holding a gun by a black officer haha shit cracks me up! Keep kneeling for the Anthem!”

Again, show me where Cleavenger’s facts are wrong. This is exactly what happened/is happening in Charlotte, but the uber-liberal MLB chose narrative over truth. Make no mistake, the NFL, NBA, and MLB are leftist organizations more concerned with their pet causes than the sports they promote.

The Mariners announced on Friday that he would be suspended for the rest of the season without pay. Clevenger will lose out on about $30,000 in salary.

Cleavenger will eventually be cut by the Mariners and jettisoned from the league. You heard it here first.

I do find it interesting Colin Kaepernick’s free speech was rewarded with a TIME magazine cover, while Cleavenger’s free speech was rewarded with a suspension. Funny how that works.

If I actually watched baseball, this would be enough for me to boycott it.

Dog Day Afternoon

hamdogIn my former life as a candy-chomping, beer-swilling, Fatty McButterpants, I ate a lot of odd things. That said, I have never had a craving for a hamdog.

Meet the hamdog — a beautiful combination of hot dog and hamburger. Sure, you’ve had these two foods in the same meal, but did you know they can coexist under the same bun?

That’s right, they can. The burger is sliced in half to create space for the hot dog.

The hamdog is sold for $8 at fairs in Australia and includes the beef patty and hot dog with lettuce, tomato, cheese, pickles, mustard, ketchup and mayonnaise.

Nobody, I mean NOBODY puts ketchup – or mayonnaise – on a hamdog!

Weekend Caption Contest

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Chuck And The Schmuck Caption Contest
(Source: Associated Press)

Original Caption: House Speaker Paul Ryan of Wis., right, hides his face and laughs at Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y., bends his nail during a ceremony to drive in the first nails to signifying the start of construction on the 2017 presidential inaugural platform, Sept. 21, 2016, on Capitol Hill in Washington. (Photo: Andrew Harnik/AP)

Caption this photo in the comments section. The winners will be posted Monday, September 26th

Buenos Hairys

argentinian-group-protests-objectification-of-womenAn Argentinian feminist group stripped in front of the congress to protest the objectification of women.

In other news, I am planning to eat a t-bone steak to protest the killing of animals for food.

A group of women sparked surprise outside Argentina’s national congress when they shed their clothes and strolled around completely naked in a protest about objectifying women. The members of the Urbanudismo campaign are calling for the acceptance of the naked female form, saying their actions are neither sexual or provocative.

The protest lasted several minutes until police were called because it was making passers-by ‘uncomfortable’ – including one man who looked especially awkward when approached by a naked woman.

Well that certainly wasn’t a congressman then. A congressman would have bent her over a bench and started, um, “polling the electorate.”