The Eclectic Slide

If this story is any indication, it would appear the South African military hires NASCAR drivers to command its armored vehicles.

This is a video of one of the South African National Defense Force’s Rooikat armored reconnaissance vehicles almost swerving into the crowd of personnel gathered to watch a practice run of its military display prior to annual Armed Forces Day. “Screw it, it’s just practice,”

Apparently the driver asked a crewman to hold his beer. You can see the video below the fold…

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Running Scared

The American dating scene is quickly deteriorating into madness. Colleges are opening Title IX investigations at a mere accusation of sexual assault or rape, police reports are being filed after seemingly consensual sexual acts, and men and women are scared to even say hello to someone of the opposite sex.

Now lawyers are claiming written and videotaped consent may not be enough to stop possible criminal charges.

Some attorneys say written and recorded sexual consent can be the only way for people to defend themselves against accusations of rape. Advocates say that as a standard, it falls woefully short.

Two Ohio State University football players, Amir Riep, 21, and Jahsen Wint, 21, were arrested last week after being accused of kidnapping and raping a 19-year-old woman. The next day, head coach Ryan Day announced he dismissed the two from the team.

Columbus police said in an affidavit that Riep told the victim to say the encounter was consensual on a video recording. That recording was recovered.

I’ve mentioned this to Kyle and I will do the same to Erik, Kevin, and Julia when they’re old enough to date. There are far too many legitimate cases of assault and rape out there – especially on college campuses – but there are plenty of people who file reports because they have next-day regret.

Personally, I would be happy if Kyle ignored every girl on campus. I don’t trust them, and I don’t trust their motives – even at a Catholic university. It only takes one false accusation to ruin someone’s life, and there is no place to go to get your reputation repaired.

Raising Pains

Meet Nicole and Chase McKeown of the Elizabethtown (KY) Police Department. Nicole and Chase were off-duty, dining at Raising Cane’s – a fabulous chicken restaurant, by the way – when the unluckiest guy on Earth walked in.

Saturday night, date night for two off-duty police officers in Kentucky ended when they foiled a robbery at a restaurant chain in Louisville.

The married couple, Chase McKeown and Nicole McKeown, are officers with the Elizabethtown Police Department. They were eating dinner at Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers, their favorite fried chicken restaurant, around 10 p.m. when a masked man walked up to the counter, showed a gun and demanded money.

The man was identified as Justin Carter, 30. When Carter flashed the gun, the couple, who had been married for just six months, sprang into action. Video footage shows the McKeowns getting up from their table, drawing their weapons and chasing Carter.

Carter basically chickened out, rushing from the restaurant as the two officers gave chase. The couple held Carter at gunpoint a few blocks away from the restaurant until Louisville police arrived and arrested him.

Wow, that’s awesome. Oh, and not only does Raising Cane’s welcome police officers into their hallowed halls, they were also very appreciative of the McKeown’s actions.

Nobody F**ks With The Jesus

Meet Michael Dennis Grant, colloquially known as “Philly Jesus.” Grant spends his days wandering the streets off Center City, looking for cameras, handouts, and attention.

Grant finally found some attention Tuesday, but not the kids he preferred.

A man who calls himself “Philly Jesus” was kicked out of the installation mass for new Philadelphia Archbishop Nelson Perez at the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul.

Michael Dennis Grant says he was promptly escorted off the property in handcuffs after he made his way through the sea of people and up to the speakers.

I was with you right until you walked up to the speakers. Sorry, now you’re asking to be escorted out.

Officers told him he had to leave, which he refused, saying he is a citizen expressing his freedom of religion.

“Jesus” could have exercised his freedom of religion almost anywhere inside the Basilica, and he could have done so without interrupting the installation mass. But no, Grant is an attention whore who makes Jenna Jameson look like an amateur.

Grant says he attends mass at the cathedral all the time and believes he was targeted because of how he was dressed.

No dipshit, you were targeted because you purposely interrupted the mass. Jesus, you’d think Jesus would know something about Christianity, and the law.

President Trumps Hires A Fighter

President Trump, realizing many of his original advisers were deep state plants, has decided purge some of the dead weight and replace them with actual conservative fighters. People like Richard Grenell.

President Donald Trump has named United States Ambassador to Germany Richard Grenell to be the next acting director of national intelligence.

New York Times first reported Trump’s intent to have Grenell join the White House team, and officials familiar with the process told the Daily Caller that Grenell is expected to assume his duties Thursday.

CNN claims he is not expected to be nominated beyond acting status as, “there is no way he could get confirmed” by the Senate. Still, Grenell’s track record as Ambassador to Germany suggests he is capable of fulfilling the position.

Additionally, he would be the first openly gay member of the president’s cabinet in U.S. history.

When I was on Twitter, Grenell was one of my first follows. The guy is the real deal, and he does not suffer fools. If you’re a Trump supporter, this is a fantastic appointment. If you’re a deep stater, this will likely mean you’ll soon be arrested/fired/transferred.

True Detective Stories

Monday night was a mess. In the first hour, we responded to two shootings and a homicide. An hour later, a police officer called for an assist – she was okay. An hour after that, officers brought in four defendants with four guns.

Suffice to say we were busy.

The shootings, homicide and the gun arrests were all in the same police district, so it boggled my mind when a sergeant from said district called with this winner.

“Yeah, this is Sergeant Clueless. We’re out here at the Rite Aid after responding to a retail theft…” Shoplifters? Are you f**king kidding me right now? “The offender is a juvenile, and she took five dollars worth of candy.” Again, are you shitting me?

Dumbfounded at the call, I could only respond with, “Okay…”

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True Detective Stories

Today’s TDS will be episodic in nature. I don’t really have a juicy story to fill an entire post, but I do have a few small stories worth your time.

Since I don’t work for a real police department, I don’t get to utilize real office equipment. Foe example, the computer at my desk caught a nasty virus – it was on my day off, so no, I was not looking for Milana Vayntrub photos. The IT Department demanded the tower be brought downtown so the people who couldn’t be hired by Apple or Google could tinker with it.

That was in early January.

The “fixed” tower returned last week, and an hour after it was dropped off, we were told it needed to be brought back to IT. Why? Because while IT cleaned the virus, they never reprogrammed the computer, nor did they add the pertinent police programs…

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Just Another Brick In The Wall

The Trump administration just made it much easier to build the southern border wall. In short, the government is getting out of the way.

The Trump administration is waiving federal contracting laws to hasten the time it takes to build border walls between the U.S. and Mexico.

The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) announced Tuesday that it is waiving 10 laws pertaining to procurement regulations, including requirements for open competition, the justification of selections and accepting all bonding from a contractor prior to construction, according to The Associated Press. The move will allow the administration to build 177 miles of new wall more expeditiously in New Mexico, California and Texas.

But wait, there’s more!

The waivers will pave the way for 94 walls to be built before the end of this year, allowing the Trump administration to tout that much more completed wall in the run-up to the November elections. The remaining 83 miles will eventually be completed, but it’s not certain if construction will finish by this year.

This will be a big boost for our southern states, as border crossings are down for the eighth straight month. Nope, I’m still not tired of all the winning.

Lumpy Old Men

Well, that was unpleasant.

In my fifty years on this planet, I have been subjected to two broken wrists, skin cancer surgery, an appendectomy, intestinal surgery, and countless stitches in the head and chin. Every invasive procedure hurt, but all of them combined are not as painful as a prostate biopsy.

This coming from the guy who has a very high threshold for pain. My sister the nurse actually brags about it to her medical pals. “Oh, he won’t ask for pain meds. He’ll just suck it up.”

This biopsy was less painful than the first, but it was still pretty excruciating. The ultrasound wand was much more painful than the biopsy tool. Mostly because it was larger. Not. A. Fan.

The biopsy went well from the doctor’s perceptive. They sliced a dozen samples from my prostate – every snip was uncomfortable – to send off to the lab. The doctor believes there is either a cyst or a lump on the prostate, but the tech thinks it’s a prostate stone. Who knows?

The aftermath was not fun. They had to clean up a lot of blood, but they said that would subside in an hour or so. My first urination looked like the elevator opening in The Shining, but after that, everything got immensely better.

I spent yesterday just lying around the house and today will be much of the same. They don’t want me doing much until Thursday, and for a change, I’mm actually going to listen to doctor’s orders.

Oh, I won’t get the results back until March 2nd, so here’s to two weeks of stressing out!