Caption Contest Winners

The A Denton His Head Caption Contest is now over.

Top Five Entries:
5. Clearly the wrong abortion failed. – Okrahead
4. The hills are alive with the sound of stupid. – Barry D.
3. Reach Back and Grab Them by the Balls. Their hearts and minds will follow. – RD
2. Later, in his hospital bed, Chad considered the possibility he might have underestimated the risks he was taking. – Mitchell Strand

WINNER! – LEAVE! BRITTANY! ALONE! – RudyTBone

Independence Day

Today, we in America celebrate Independence Day; they day we finally cut off ties with Britain and King George III.

The signing of the Declaration of Independence was seen as treason by Britain, and had we lost the Revolutionary War, out founding fathers would have been executed.

Thankfully, that did not happen, thanks to General George Washington and many other brave men and women who sacrificed everything to embrace freedom for all.

The Fourth of July—also known as Independence Day or July 4th—has been a federal holiday in the United States since 1941, but the tradition of Independence Day celebrations goes back to the 18th century and the American Revolution. On July 2nd, 1776, the Continental Congress voted in favor of independence, and two days later delegates from the 13 colonies adopted the Declaration of Independence, a historic document drafted by Thomas Jefferson.

From 1776 to the present day, July 4th has been celebrated as the birth of American independence, with festivities ranging from fireworks, parades and concerts to more casual family gatherings and barbecues.

While the United States has been on the decline the past two years, it is still the greatest country on Earth. God bless America.

Since I am stuck at work today, and all you folks are likely enjoying the long weekend, I’m only posting this and the Caption Contest Winners. I’ll resume normal posting tomorrow.

Pennsylvania Man Should Stay On Land

A Pennsylvania man was arrested after he was trespassing in Allentown’s Canal Park. When the man, identified as Pablo Acevedo-Santiago, saw police he fled the scene and jumped into the canal.

Allentown officers spotted an unoccupied car in Canal Park around 1 a.m. Friday, said Allentown police in a news release.

A man and woman then came walking out from the woods, and the man took off on foot, police said. He jumped into the canal, but started struggling, police said.

Wow, you’d think a Spanish guy would know how to swim, amirite? Kidding, kidding, it’s a joke.

Three officers jumped in the water to pull the man to shore and save him from drowning. Officer Phil Shedaker, Officer Patrick Bull and Sgt. Scott Snyder “should be commended for their response in saving a man’s life,” the chief said.

The story doesn’t mention why this moron ran from police, or why he gave the cops a fake ID.

Aussie Woman Accused Of Banging Teen

Meet Australian horse heiress Savannah Daisley. Savannah is obviously a ridiculously gorgeous woman, who any man would love to court. Sadly, Savannah is into 14-year old boysallegedly.

An Australian horse heiress is saddled with charges after being accused of having sex with a 14-year-old boy four times in a single day.

Savannah Daisley, 45, faced Waverley Local Court in Sydney on Tuesday on child sex abuse allegations, with Judge Jaqueline Milledge denying her bail over the “quite disturbing” allegations.

Disturbing for the judge possibly, but the kid considers himself the King of the World!

The glamorous mother of two, who is the daughter of famed Aussie horse breeder Ross Daisley, strongly denies the accusations and intends to plead not guilty.

Cops claim an unbridled Daisley molested the minor four times before 5 p.m. on May 20 last year. It’s unclear whether the pair were known to each other prior to the alleged acts.

I always wondered where these gorgeous women were when I was in high school. Kevin is fourteen, and if this happened to him, I’d… give him a high-five!

True Detective Stories

Oh my, where to begin with the idiocy.

So Friday seemed to be Idiot Day, and Diego the Idiot Detective wasn’t even the building. The first idiot was from the 666th District, and he did not disappoint. At all. In fact, the officer gave me the giggles with his dumbassery.

The officer called the division and said he found an unoccupied car which had blood inside the vehicle. The officer was so excited, you would have thought he found Jimmy Hoffa’s corpse. So the cop tells me about the blood inside the vehicle, and I effectively reply, “And?” The cop pauses, so I continued.

“Are there and bullet holes in the vehicle? Are there any shell casings outside the location, or anyone saying there was a shooting?” All three answers were no. The officer said his lieutenant wanted him to let us know, and I said, “Okay, but without any evidence of a crime, there’s not a lot we can do.” The officer finally relented, and because it was my last day before my days off, I threw this one out there. “Maybe it was a female driver and she was having her period.” The cop at least laughed…

Continue reading “True Detective Stories”

This Was The Droid He Was Looking For

Meet David Proudfoot of Kissimmee, Flori-Duh. David decided to pose as a Walt Disney World employee before stealing an R2-D2 droid. Proudfoot believed his theft would show the security problems at Disney, and hoped he would be hired after the theft.

A Central Florida man was arrested after deputies said he posed as a Walt Disney World cast member and took a “Star Wars” R2-D2 droid, in the hopes that Disney’s security would hire him. David Proudfoot, 44, of Kissimmee, is facing a grand theft charge and a charge of obstruction by false information.

The Orange County Sheriff’s Office says on May 31, deputies were called to the Swan Reserve Hotel by Disney security. When they arrived, they made contact with Proudfoot, who they say was wearing beige work pants, an orange work vest, and a Disney nametag. He reportedly identified himself as David Rodgers at first and said he worked in the receiving division of the Yacht Club Resort.

If I’m going to be brutally honest, I’m all in for people who want to sabotage anything and everything Disney. Considering their despicable “values,” the entire place could go bankrupt for all I care.

Proudfoot reportedly admitted to moving the R2-D2 droid from the third floor of the hotel to an “unknown location” and a game machine because he had an application for a security job pending at Walt Disney World and wanted to “show weaknesses in the security of the resorts in the hope of securing a better paying job at WDW,” the report states.

Proudfoot is a genius, and he should be hired immediately by a Fortune 500 company, post haste!

Politician Refuses To Honor WWII Hero

You may not have heard about Hershel Woodrow “Woody” Williams before, but the World War II Marine was awarded the Medal of Honor during the battle of Iwo Jima.

Sadly, Chief Warrant Officer Williams passed away Wednesday at the age of 98. He was the last surviving World War II Medal of Honor recipient. To salute William’s heroism, West Virginia representative Carol Miller put forth a resolution to have Williams lie in honor at the U.S. Capitol.

See if you can guess Nancy Pelosi’s decision.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi continues to ignore a resolution sent to her by West Virginia representative Carol Miller that would allow the last surviving World War II Medal of Honor recipient to lie in honor at the US Capitol.

The veteran in question, Woody Williams, passed away on Wednesday at the age of ninety-eight, serving in the Pacific Theater of World War II, and most notably fighting in the battle of Iwo Jima.

Williams advanced on Japanese pillboxes under heavy fire, alone, to clear a route for the tanks.

“He devoted his life to veterans and Gold Star Families,” she wrote. “He and his Foundation have established 103 Gold Star Families Memorial Monuments across the United States, with more than 72 additional monuments under way. He played a critical role in helping veterans throughout his community and will be sorely missed.”

House Judiciary Committee Republicans blasted Pelosi’s inaction on the resolution, saying that the fact she’s ignoring it tells “all you need to know about the Speaker.”

If you’re looking for a hero, Williams would have been your guy. Unfortunately, the House Speaker couldn’t care less about the men who fought and died for this country.

You can see Williams’ actions in Iwo Jima here. Take a moment to read about this American hero.

UPDATE: West Virginia politicians are making it happen, and Mr. Williams will lie in the U.S. Capitol!

Here Are Julia’s Recital Performances

So I mentioned Princess P’s recital last week, where she did a tap dance number and a lyrical dance. Julia did both performances Thursday night, then lyrical on Friday night, and tap again on Saturday night. Mrs. Earp got both performances on tape – relax we already bought the DVD for the recitals.

I know weekends aren’t big draws for readers, but I figured you may want to see the Princess dancing. She did very well…

Continue reading “Here Are Julia’s Recital Performances”

Feel-Good Friday

A retired kindergarten teacher received the surprise of a lifetime when her last kindergarten class showed up during their grade school graduation.

Mrs. Hamilton retired from her job as a teacher years ago, but it’s clear she made a big impact as an educator.

When her last class of Kindergarten students were all grown up and ready to graduate cap-and-gown, Hamilton’s daughter Kim organized for them to throw a surprise that racked up 3.2 million views on TikTok.

Just an amazing gesture for a dedicated schoolteacher.

“Hey! Congratulations. That’s cool,” the teacher said when she spotted a former student from her porch. “What’s going on?” The one student quickly became a dozen, as they emerged from bushes, behind obstacles, and all approached their first school teacher.

“Oh my gosh. Did you know this was happening?” she asked her daughter, who was recording. “Oh my gosh, I love you all. Oh my gosh, you’re all just gorgeous.”

If nothing else, Mrs. Hamilton will never ever forget this special moment.

You can see the video at the link.

Weekend Caption Contest

A Denton His Head Caption Contest
(Source: Reuters)

Caption this photo in the comments section. The winners will be posted on Monday, July 4th.

Original Caption: Daniel Niewinski yells at an anti-abortion demonstrator to go home outside of Denton City Hall as Denton’s city council meets to vote on a resolution seeking to make enforcing Texas’ trigger law on abortion a low priority for its police force, in Denton, Texas. REUTERS/Shelby Tauber