Would You Like Paper Of Plastic?

While you may think this post would need a build-up, trust me when I tell you, this one needs no introduction. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the dumbest woman on the face of the Earth.

Because poor decision making knows no bounds, this is a video from a Kroger gas station of a woman who, presumably wanting to make the most of her Kroger Fuel Points discount, decides to fill up a plastic bag with gas and put it in her trunk. I thought the double bagging was a nice touch, as well as the person just filming and not saying anything. Still, gasoline in plastic bags, that’s just…wow.

The only terrible part of this story is the woman apparently made it home without her vehicle bursting into flames.

The video of this idiot can be seen below the fold…

The Whoriest Place On Earth

Meet Rodney Davis of, well, guess the state.

Rodney is looking for love, and instead of hanging out in bars or joining a dating site, Rodney prefers to patronize houses of ill repute. Oh, did I mention Rodney is a security guard at Walt Disney World?

Rodney Davis wasn’t even wearing socks.

The 56-year-old Disney security guard and husband of 27 years was “buck nekkid,” Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said, when he walked up to a house to purchase sex from an undercover detective. Davis’s arrest was one of 124 in Operation Santa’s Naughty List, a joint operation lead by Judd’s agency targeting human trafficking and prostitution that ran from Dec. 3 through 8.

Davis was among 46 johns – those seeking to purchase the services of a prostitute – arrested in the sting. Fifty-three were arrested for prostitution and another 18 for various crimes, mostly aiding, transporting and deriving proceeds from prostitution, Judd said.

Davis claimed he was on duty, and just showing the gals his “nightstick.” Okay, I just made that up.

Weekend Caption Contest

You Make Me Busy Miss Lindsey Caption Contest
(Source: Reuters)

Caption this photo in the comments section. The winners will be posted on Monday, December 16th.

Original Caption: U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Senator Lindsey Graham holds a copy of an intelligence report on the Steele dossier as he delivers an opening statement prior to hearing testimony from Justice Department Inspector General Michael Horowitz before a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing ‘Examining the Inspector General’s report on alleged abuses of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act’ on Capitol Hill in Washington. REUTERS/Joshua Roberts

The Swing Is The Thing

So Princess P has been taking Ballroom Dancing lessons at her school. It’s the same program Kevin participated in last year, and it’s actually well run by the city.

Like Kevin, Julia (center of the below photo, towering over her partner) adores the lessons. Yesterday was the first set of city-wide competitions, and they were held as Julia’s school.

Princess P’s specialty dance is the tango, and she also performed the swing. Mrs. Earp was on hand for the competition, as I was working. As usual.

After an hour of dance, with each couple performing their specialty, the judges rated everyone on their performances. For her part, Princess P said her tango wasn’t her best performance, and she was upset about it.

I am happy to report Princess P and her class won the gold medal and are moving on to the next round!

SEPTA Police Are Becoming Sauer

The SEPTA Transit Police are suing the Sig-Sauer firearms company after on of their officers accidentally discharged his firearm inside a subway station.

The Philadelphia Police Department officially exonerated the SEPTA police officer whose Sig Sauer P320 service weapon discharged unintentionally at a Center City train station.

“The investigation is complete, and has determined that there was no criminal culpability or wrongdoing on the part of the officer with regard to the discharge,” said Sekou Kinebrew, Philadelphia Police Department spokesperson, in an email.

Apparently, the SEPTA and Philly PD are blaming the gun; claiming it went off by itself.

The transit officer was on patrol during rush hour at Suburban Station when his holstered Sig service weapon discharged. There were no reported injuries and a preliminary inspection found no cause for the weapon to fire.

In the weeks that followed, SEPTA ordered 350 new Glock pistols to replace the Sigs. The unplanned switch cost the authority more than $175,000, not including “unanticipated processing and labor costs.”

The Suburban Station discharge was one of several unintentional firings involving U.S. law enforcement and the P320.

I don’t have much knowledge about Sig-Sauer pistols, especially the P320, but I have a hard time believing the model just goes off for like, no reason

The Fox Has Entered The Outhouse

After years of conservatives believing Fox News was “fair and balanced,” it’s glaringly obviously they have taken a leftward turn in recent months. While the opinion shows – Hannity, Carlson, Ingraham – lean conservative, the news hosts are the exact opposite.

Chris Wallace went after President Donald Trump in harsh terms Wednesday during a speech in Washington, D.C.

“I believe that President Trump is engaged in the most direct sustained assault on freedom of the press in our history,” Wallace said at the Newseum.

“He has done everything he can to undercut the media, to try and delegitimise us, and I think his purpose is clear: to raise doubts when we report critically about him and his administration that we can be trusted,” he added.

Wallace has always been a squish, but like most media types, the election of President Trump broke him. I’m all for calling out the president when he does something wrong, but Wallace attacks him for the most insipid of alleged offenses.

As for the “direct sustained assault on freedom of the press” nonsense, I would direct Wallace to the Obama administration, which spied on journalists during its eight years in office.

Look, if I wanted to listen to a Jim Acosta clone, I’d turn in to CNN.

The War On Glitter?

Scientists are calling for a ban on glitter, claiming it will murder all the fishes (and chicken) of the sea.

Scientists say glitter is terrible for the environment—here’s why.

The main argument boils down to the ingredient that makes up glitter – plastic, specifically a polymer called polyethylene terephthalate (PET), or better known as Mylar. These microplastics account for 92.4% of the total 5.25 trillion pieces of plastic floating around in the ocean. Researchers also say that given the size of these glittery microplastics, to marine life and fish, it looks like food particles. Studies have found that many creatures of the sea are choosing to eat plastics over their typical diet – and it’s having a negative effect.

Pfft, it’s a small price to pay to keep our hard-working strippers gainfully employed.

Coker? I Hardly Know Her!

Meet Mary Coker.

Mary, second from left, attended a Halloween party in a Broward County, Florida school and decided to wear a totally appropriate flasher outfit. Coker then proceeded to “flash” the grade school students, because Florida.

A Florida school administrator is facing a pay cut of nearly $44,000 and a possible demotion for donning a barely-there flasher costume to work on Halloween.

Mary Coker, director of procurement and warehousing services for Broward County Public Schools, allegedly “inappropriately ‘flashed’ children, staff and colleagues” at the Oct. 31 celebration at Lanier James Education Center.

“Employees at the brunch were offended and some suggested that they could not tell if Coker was wearing a costume or was truly naked,” the complaint said.

Coker, 46, asked partygoers to get rid of any photographic evidence of her elaborate garb — complete with fake nipples and faux pubic hair — after seeing their reactions.

Is there any wonder why our public schools are swirling the toilet?

Defense Department Finally Wakes Up

In the wake of the NAS Pensacola shooting, the Defense Department has suspended Saudi students from flight training. It’s almost as if this administration, unlike the last, doesn’t take kindly to terrorists.

The Pentagon on Tuesday suspended more than 850 Saudi students from flight training in response to the deadly shooting by a Saudi student last Friday at Naval Air Station Pensacola in Florida, senior defense officials told Fox News.

The suspension was part of a broader Defense Department review of all international training on U.S. military bases after Friday’s massacre.

The officials said all 852 Saudi military students will be immediately confined to classroom training, while all operational training in the air, land, and sea “will pause.”

Mohammed Saeed Alshamrani, a 21-year-old aviation student from Saudi Arabia, opened fire at Naval Air Station Pensacola Friday, killing three military members and injuring eight others. Police shot and killed the Saudi gunman.

It’s high time this country accepts the fact the Saudis are not, and never have been, our allies. One would think 9-11 would have solidified that fact.

The Most Chickenful Time Of The Year

While I do not own a fireplace – I do own a backyard firepit – I certainly wish I owned one now. Why? Because this winter I would like to be warmed by heat and caressed by eleven herbs and prices.

Kentucky Fried Chicken teamed up with Enviro-Log to bring back the 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog that apparently sold out in just a few hours last year. On its site, JFC uses big bold type to make darn sure buyers understand that this log is “NOT ACTUALLY FRIED CHICKEN.”

The 11 Herbs & Spices Firelog available exclusively at Walmart. ‘natch.

Shut up and take my money!