The Fart Of War

Dawn MeikleMeet Dawn Meikle. Pretty hot, huh? Sadly, like most smoking hot women, Dawn is batshit insane.

Donald Meikle told police that his wife, Dawn, elbowed him and kicked him out of bed the morning of Friday, Dec. 11. Dawn told police her husband was repeatedly passing gas.

The fight escalated as the flatulence continued. Dawn Meikle reportedly ran to the bathroom to call 911 and also discharged a canister of pepper spray. (H/T – L-Frame)

Okay, you may think this is not a proportional response, but in Dawn’s defense, she looked like this before being exposed to the noxious fumes.

Thankfully, I am one of the only men on Earth who doesn’t break wind – unless I’m wearing a windbreaker, of course. I’m not kidding. I have a rare condition which makes it impossible to – as my kids are fond of saying – “toot.” What’s more, my bowel movements smell like fresh cut flowers, and sparkle like a kaleidoscope when the sunlight hits them. True story!

7 thoughts on “The Fart Of War

  1. I’m thinking she may be the adoptive mother of the guy with the ‘F**k Cops’ tatoos on his head. The appear to be made from the same mold.

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  2. If he toots and then lifts the covers to share the smell he deserves to be married to her, it, that thing. How much do you want to bet he weighs a whopping 95 pounds?

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  3. RG – In this case, I assume this woman is covered in mold.

    Cathy – If you are having a bad gas day and don’t do anything about it – like poop or leave the room – at least place a fabric softener sheet in your underwear to mask the smell.

    FD – Of course.

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  4. (As I promised, Wyatt…)

    A Florida woman of large mass,
    Jumped from her bed quite aghast.
    She screamed at her spouse,
    “You dirty louse!
    “The gas you pass will melt glass!”

    Like

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