American Psycho

Zooey Deschanel Cute

Have you ever wondered if the person sitting next to you was a psychopath? Now you identify one; and the process no longer includes daring them to stab you in the groin.

Self-professed psychopath Jacob Wells has revealed how he behaves in different situations and has listed questions that may help others identify whether they have any psychopathic traits – as well as recognize them in others.

These include superficial charm, a grandiose notion of self-worth, the need for stimulation and impulsiveness, pathological lying, the ability to manipulate others and a lack of remorse and empathy.

Whew, I do not have a superficial charm, so I’m good. I mean, I possess every other trait, but you need all of them to be a psycho, right?

Of course, not all psychopaths are criminals and murderers – in fact, many hold important positions in businesses thanks to their ruthless and impulsive attitude.

Take Zooey Deschanel, for example. Don’t let the America’s Sweetheart shtick fool you; that woman has enough bodies in her backyard to fill the Rose Bowl. Fun fact: Zooey murdered James Gandolfini with a swizzle stick. True story.

12 thoughts on “American Psycho

  1. “Zooey murdered James Gandolfini with a swizzle stick. True story.”
    I know! I have that swizzle stick locked away in a safe deposit box. It’s the only reason she sleeps with me!


  2. Mike – Dammit, I tried the same thing, but my extortion was with Lena Dunham.

    Edward – Most of Hollywood is a hot mess, but I see what single coworkers face on the dating scene. It’s hotter and messier.

    Ingineer – Most likely not very receptive to a house husband who plays Call of Duty: Black Ops III all day.

    Doc – All three of them, including Chelsea.


  3. Speaking of COD. I still have a PS3 since I have no longer have kids at home and I read that Black Ops III is not good for the old system. What do you have? Any thoughts?


        1. Welcome. I like it, and you can have separate accounts for everyone in the house. If you get the PS Plus to play online, one account will cover everyone.


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