Smell Ya Later

Christiano Ronaldo ShirtlessA burgeoning dating website believes it nose the way to a person’s heart. Smell Dating selects the best attributes of eHarmony and and combines them with a prospective candidate’s herbal essence.

The idea, conceived by artist and environmental engineer Tega Brain and her colleague Brian House, is to put the pheromones you generate while swiping through Tinder or scanning OkCupid messages to good use. Smelling a prospective date, they posit, is all you need to decide if you are compatible.

“1. We send you a t-shirt. 2. You wear the shirt for three days and three nights without deodorant. 3. You return the shirt to us in a prepaid envelope. 4. We send you swatches of t-shirts worn by a selection of other individuals. 5. You smell the samples and tell us who you like. 6. If someone whose smell you like likes the smell of you too, we’ll exchange contact information. 7. The rest is up to you.”

Okay, I understand their reasoning, but how many people will stand fast when their smellmate looks like Helen Thomas? No one chooses a mate on smell alone; except maybe fat people who marry pizza shop workers.

Personally, I knew Mrs. Earp was the one for me when she allowed me to sleep in the same bed after my ice hockey games. Two hours of skating with full equipment did not an aromatic husband make.

4 thoughts on “Smell Ya Later

  1. Okay, I am going to date myself here but I always like the smell of letter jackets. Well, that and Brut, Aramis and English Leather for cologne for guys when I was in high school and college. Sweat after their games (I was a cheerleader) not so much.


  2. This is crazy, can you imagine how that shirt smells after three days in July? I will admit that I love the smell of a gym…something about rubber mats, steel bars, and sweaty men 🙂


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