Hard Of Herrin

Meet Paul Herrin.

As you can plainly see, Paul is a personable, well-adjusted individual who is just trying to make his way in this topsy-turvy world. He is a loyal family man who was unjustifiably arrested by the police for trying to remove his wife from harms’ way. Paul, as you will soon see, is an American hero.

Police said the homeowner thought that Paul Herrin, 26, was a tenant stopping by to pay rent. When the homeowner opened the door, the suspect wedged his foot inside and pushed his way through.

The robber insisted that he was there to “save Taylor Swift, his wife, and that he had every right to search the residence.”

If I had a nickel for every time I saved my wife, Hayley Atwell, from harm, I’d have… eight nickels. Ironically, Vica Kerekes has been arrested dozens of times for bursting into my home. To be honest, it is really quite embarrassing.