Meth Becomes Her

Chastity Eugina HopsonMeet Chastity Eugina Hopson.

Chastity enjoys dabbling in pharmaceuticals; a hobby which possibly affected her cognitive abilities and decision-making processes. Either that, or she is the dumbest woman in all of Texas.

A Central Texas police department issued a “breaking news alert” on Facebook, cautioning residents that meth and heroin in the Granite Shoals area “could be contaminated with the life-threatening disease Ebola.” Last week’s fake Facebook alert urged the public “NOT” to ingest those illicit drugs “until it has been properly checked for possible Ebola contamination” by the police department.

There are no Ebola-contaminated drugs. The alert was a hoax played on the citizens of Granite Shoals, a town of about 5,000 northwest of Austin. But the arrest of 29-year-old Chastity Eugina Hopson is not a joke. She was accused of possessing under a gram of a controlled substance. The police department described Hopson’s arrest as “the winner of the Facebook post challenge.”

Having spent two decades in law enforcement, I have some experience with the zombifying effects of meth. Considering her low-hanging gullet, and all-around plumpitude, Chastity is definitely a rookie on the meth circuit. Personally, I think a little meth would do her good, and thin her out a little.

Sadly, that won’t help her severely limited intellect.

5 thoughts on “Meth Becomes Her

  1. She might be one of those people to follow for years and see how her mug shot changes with increased meth use. Some of those pics would give you nightmares. I have a feeling that Chastity is about 15 watts on the bulb scale.


  2. Look how happy that meth is making her. Bet she is a runner up for mommy of the year award. Since I left Texas the IQ there took a huge drop.


  3. The Ebola meth thing has made the rounds out here too. In my city there was an actual official looking PD press release and everything. Good stuff.


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