Unfit At Any Speed

John Kasich Eats Pizza With A ForkThere are very few absolute axioms in life. You never eat the yellow snow, you don’t order food at a strip club, and you never, ever eat pizza with a fork.

During a stop at a pizza joint in New York on Wednesday, John Kasich drew the mock ire of locals and reporters on Twitter as he used a fork.

“Look, look, the pizza came scalding hot, OK? And so I use a little fork,” the governor told Good Morning America. “You know what? My wife who is on spring break with my daughters said, ‘I’m proud of you. You finally learned how to use a utensil properly.ā€™ But I mean ā€” not only did I eat the pizza, I had the hot sausage. It was fantastic.”

Not only is John Kasich unfit for the office of President of the United States, I believe he should be impeached as governor of Ohio, beaten with sticks of pepperoni, and deported to the country with the world’s worst pizza. Let’s say… Liberia.

7 thoughts on “Unfit At Any Speed

  1. Hey, this is America! You can eat your pizza any way you want, by hand, by fork, with chopsticks; cut the guy a break. But only on the pizza issue. Otherwise, I have no use for John Kasich. He voted for that stupid “assault weapons ban” in ’94. That put him on my “Piece of Crap” list. Once a politician makes that list, they never, ever get off it. If the RNC pulls a fast one and makes him the nominee, I may very well sit out the Presidential election.

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  2. Not a giant fan of Kasich, but we’re closer to Chicago here in Ohio. Traditionally it’s fork and knife there, kinda like in Europe. That stuff bleeds out into surrounding areas.

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  3. John – Meh, I can’t get past it. If he can;t hold a hot piece of pizza, how will he deal with Putin? Or something.

    Ranba – Chicago pizza isn’t real pizza. It’s sauce and cheese on a loaf of bread. šŸ™‚

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  4. I eat pizza and just about everything with a knife and fork. I realize I’m dating myself…I ate my snickers with a knife and fork long before Seinfeld made it cool šŸ˜‰ wait did I just use Seinfeld and cool in the same sentence? Haha

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  5. You know who ate pizza with a fork?

    Mussolini.

    (No real source, but that’s how they roll in Italy, so it’s a pretty good bet.)

    I handle money, hold kids’ grubby paws, clean gross stuff off previously-owned electronics… And I don’t always get to a proper sink. Hand sanitizer won’t do. I’ll use some cutlery, like a civilized germophobe.

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