Sunday Services

Alina Kabaeva

Since today is May 1st – also known as May Day – I figured today’s Sunday Services would feature someone born in the former Soviet Union. Alina Maratovna Kabaeva is former gymnast-turned-politician. She was born in Tashkent, Uzbek Soviet Socialist Republic in 1983, and competed in her first international rhythmic gymnastics competition in 1996 at the age of 13. In the eleven years following, she amassed two Olympic medals, 14 World Championship medals, and 25 European Championship medals.

She also, if you believe the rumors, nabbed Vladimir Putin and “allegedly” had his baby. Not for nothing, but Kabaeva is a pretty fantastic pull; even for the world’s greatest supervillain.

Obviously, there are more photos below the fold…

I always considered rhythmic gymnastics to be a douchey, made-up sport. That said, anyone who can contort themselves like this is definitely an athlete worthy of my Bedroom Olympiad.

Alina Kabaeva Rhythmic Gymnastics

The “I Dream of Jeannie” ensemble makes my pants grow tight. Hmm, if I rub her lamp, will she grant me three wishes? How about if I rub her chest?

Alina Kabaeva Sexy

Fur is murder! As a sworn law enforcement professional, it is my duty to handcuff Alina, strip search her, and sentence to seven years of hard labor. Heh, phrasing.

Alina Kabaeva Lingerie

Yeah… I’ll be in my dacha.

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