Hurls Before Swine

Angry Guinea PigLacrosse is a tough, sometimes violent sport, which brings out the best in players and their teammates. There are bonds created which last a lifetime. For one Michigan high school, however, those bonds may be of the leg shackle variety.

In an alleged case of one lacrosse team’s bonding taken to a bloody extreme, however, the violence was not aimed at humans but at a small animal, possibly a guinea pig.

At least 10 members of a high school lacrosse team in Michigan have been questioned about the possible guinea pig slaying. A few students purportedly painted their faces with the animal’s blood. The Grosse Ile High School lacrosse players, an unnamed source says, killed the animal prior to a match earlier in May. Whatever the Grosse Ile Red Devils were hoping to achieve, it failed, as the rival Dexter Dreadnaughts won 13 to 6.

Several, but not all, of the lacrosse players were involved in a “sacrifice” of the animal, going as far to claim that a few smeared their faces with its remains; one member of the Red Devils ingested the animal’s blood. (H/T – Loki)

I’m sorry, but that is way beyond the pale. The worst thing we ever tried this year was blessing out sticks with chicken bones… oh, and sacrificing a beautiful blonde woman to our Ape-God.

Relax, she died quickly and painlessly.

5 thoughts on “Hurls Before Swine

  1. Nice to know the area future serial killers are coming from. Note to self: cancel that visit to Michigan.

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  2. All this outrage about a poor little guinea pig, and how many potential humans have been sacrificed in the name of liberal progressivism? In South America they eat them–probably taste a lot like chicken. Had one as a pet once in Med School, real escape artist, ate my best shoes and my best belt. Given to a foreign grad student, who probably ate him.

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  3. Grosse Ile — well-to-do (not Grosse Pointe well-to-do, but not bad), and, as its name suggests, is an island community.

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