Cocked And Loaded

Samsung Galaxy S7 PhoneIn this day and age, cell phone security is a top priority for both businesses and consumers. In an effort to improve the screen lock, some manufacturers are implementing fingerprint security measures.

Of course, this is not an exact science, as a Samsung Galaxy S7 user recently realized.

Your penis is busy. We get that. But some inventive soul has apparently found another use for it — unlocking your cell phone. A Samsung Galaxy S7 to be precise.

“Boredom and curiosity got the best of me,” user meatwad75892 wrote on Reddit. “Tonight I discovered that you can successfully register & unlock a Galaxy S7 with a penis as a ‘fingerprint‘.”

Okay, two questions. First, what would possess a person to even consider trying something this disgusting? Second, would a penis fingerprint increase or decrease security? There is no print, per se, so couldn’t anyone use their penis to unlock this guy’s phone? Discuss, and please show your work.

7 thoughts on “Cocked And Loaded

  1. Those phones aren’t that big. Why would you even want someone to know that your penis is the same size as your finger? Embarrassing!


  2. Oh good Gawd, now the whiny feminazis have something new to snivel about. “He can use his d*ck to unlock his phone, why can’t we use our hoohaw to do the same”.

    Of course, on the up side, howse the federales gonna unlock THAT phone?


  3. Metoo – In my case, it’s at least a thumb!

    MelP – Maybe that’s why he tried it, so Obama’s goons can’t break into it. Or wouldn’t want to.


  4. So a guy could just whip out his little weanie to unlock the phone? Don’t want to think what the woman would do. Getting eye bleach.


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