The Jerk Store Called…

JerkShirtIn eleven years of blogging, I have written many disturbing stories. I can honestly argue this is the most troubling post you will ever read here. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I give you the JerkShirt.

A new dress shirt is equipped with a prosthetic arm so users can furtively masturbate in public.

“Individual’s real hands are hidden underneath the shirt allowing undercover stimulation anytime, anywhere without the fear of getting caught in the act,” the shirt’s maker, adult webcam company CamSoda, said in a press release to announce the launch.

The shirt is available for pre-order and also comes with a “stain resistant splash guard” and is available in four skin tones for the prosthetic arm.

That’s actually helpful because my usual splash guard is a dinner plate, and boy are those things cold!

8 thoughts on “The Jerk Store Called…

  1. I guess the most obvious questions are: Do they come (pun intended) in right hand and left hand versions? If so, can you get one with two prosthetic arms for those of us who need the added, er, support?

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  2. Are his hands protected? For when someone catches the jerk jerking-off and kicks him in the woo-hoo breaking all the bones in his hand.

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  3. Proof – You’re supposed to hold it like an egg, not in G.I. Joe’s Kung-Fu grip.

    Cathy – Note to self: Create a JerkShirt with Kevlar panels.

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