Flipsy McStagger

University Of North Dakota Police Car

A drunken whore stole and wrecked a University of North Dakota police car this weekend, most likely because her daddy never loved her enough.

An apparently intoxicated young woman stole a University of North Dakota squad car on Sunday, driving it from Grand Forks to Crookston where she was involved in a crash so violent the vehicle’s engine broke free.

With a GPS device, the Grand Forks officers located the purloined police car — headed east on U.S. Highway 2 toward Crookston, about 25 miles away.

At about 9:20 a.m., the young woman lost control of the stolen squad on a Highway 2 curve, careening into a ditch at the intersection of U.S. Highway 75 near the University of Minnesota Crookston campus. The car rolled, and UND police pictures on Twitter show a crumpled vehicle, its engine laying on the grass.

Yet the driver, 23, suffered only minor injuries, according to the Minnesota State Patrol. She was not a UND student.

Unbelievable. If the driver was sober, they most likely would have been killed. Keep in mind, the vehicle pictured above was a 2015 Ford Explorer.

“God has a special providence for fools, drunkards, and the United States of America.” – Otto von Bismarck.

5 thoughts on “Flipsy McStagger

    1. Maybe it is actually good publicity. I mean look at the state of that vehicle and only minor injuries. Real world safety example! “This idiot did this to our vehicle and wasn’t badly hurt!”


  1. See if they had just bought the Prius, then this wouldn’t have happened. Look at the damage that fossil fuel guzzling monstrosity did to the poor grass.

    -Susie Rottencr0tch’s defense lawyer, with a straight face


  2. I don’t think it rolled. Looks like it flipped end over end. Still, cabin appears to be mostly intact. Good job, Ford.


  3. Metoo – Bad publicity for her shit parents.

    Loki – Agreed. The fact she isn’t dead is a testament to the vehicle, and blind luck.

    MelP – Carbon emissions caused this accident, dontchaknow?

    PS – You wouldn’t think the rear damage would be from a roll. Either she backed into something, or went end over end.


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