Flipsy McStagger

University Of North Dakota Police Car

A drunken whore stole and wrecked a University of North Dakota police car this weekend, most likely because her daddy never loved her enough.

An apparently intoxicated young woman stole a University of North Dakota squad car on Sunday, driving it from Grand Forks to Crookston where she was involved in a crash so violent the vehicle’s engine broke free.

With a GPS device, the Grand Forks officers located the purloined police car — headed east on U.S. Highway 2 toward Crookston, about 25 miles away.

At about 9:20 a.m., the young woman lost control of the stolen squad on a Highway 2 curve, careening into a ditch at the intersection of U.S. Highway 75 near the University of Minnesota Crookston campus. The car rolled, and UND police pictures on Twitter show a crumpled vehicle, its engine laying on the grass.

Yet the driver, 23, suffered only minor injuries, according to the Minnesota State Patrol. She was not a UND student.

Unbelievable. If the driver was sober, they most likely would have been killed. Keep in mind, the vehicle pictured above was a 2015 Ford Explorer.

“God has a special providence for fools, drunkards, and the United States of America.” – Otto von Bismarck.

5 thoughts on “Flipsy McStagger

    1. Maybe it is actually good publicity. I mean look at the state of that vehicle and only minor injuries. Real world safety example! “This idiot did this to our vehicle and wasn’t badly hurt!”

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  1. See if they had just bought the Prius, then this wouldn’t have happened. Look at the damage that fossil fuel guzzling monstrosity did to the poor grass.

    -Susie Rottencr0tch’s defense lawyer, with a straight face

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  2. I don’t think it rolled. Looks like it flipped end over end. Still, cabin appears to be mostly intact. Good job, Ford.

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  3. Metoo – Bad publicity for her shit parents.

    Loki – Agreed. The fact she isn’t dead is a testament to the vehicle, and blind luck.

    MelP – Carbon emissions caused this accident, dontchaknow?

    PS – You wouldn’t think the rear damage would be from a roll. Either she backed into something, or went end over end.

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