Just Shootin’ The Sh*t

Barney Gumble Diaper

A Florida man – naturally – was shot and wounded by a gun-toting heroine after forcing his way into her residence. Sadly, blood was not the only bodily fluid left at the scene.

27-year-old Victor Etherington, who, was intoxicated, demanded entry to an Ocala residence. The homeowner, not recognizing him, told him to leave.

The poopetrator kicked in the door, prompting the woman to take refuge in her bedroom, grab a .22, and call 911. Etherington chased her upstairs, removed his soiled shorts and forced his way into the closet, and that’s when the homeowner shot him once in the gut.

When police arrived on the scene, they found Etherington in his birthday suit, bleeding, covered in poop, hiding behind the bedroom door. (H/T – TXNick)

If I am this toad’s lawyer, I immediately request a jury trial, and carefully explain my client was suffering severe intestinal distress. He only forced his way into the house because he did not want to poop in the homeowner’s front yard.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, who among you has not considered committing a felony in order to keep from pooping your pants?”

Boom! Case closed, and this thug gets off easily. Phrasing.

7 thoughts on “Just Shootin’ The Sh*t

  1. The homeowner had every right to shoot him because she was not going to share her 2 ply baby pink tissue.

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  2. Holy crap! One of our friends (during marriage #1) pulled a #2 on the back steps of the local hardware store. I remember thinking “how gross” at the time but all the stalls in the bar were busy, so what’s a guy to do? I did laugh, however, when I read the story in the newspaper on Monday. His wife didn’t find it the least bit funny. Go figure.

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