Lowering Expectations

Settling Dating SiteAre you a milquetoast, soporific, overweight slob? Would describing your features as repugnant actually be perceived as a compliment? If so, Settling.com may be the online dating site for you!

Love is hard. Give up on it and date someone just because they’re there. That’s the mantra of Settling.com. It’s the dating site we’ve been looking for all these years. Settling.com helps find you another single person to settle down with.

Sure, you’ll have nothing in common. You also probably won’t like each other as people, which will lead to long-term, deep-rooted resentment. But, hey, you won’t be alone when you die. Maybe.

Shut up and take my money!

Now obviously I do not need this particular website – yet – because I landed – via roofies – a woman who loved me for me – and my money. That said, if I hadn’t married – trapped via pregnancy – Mrs. Earp, I would certainly consider – run screaming toward – Settling.com, based solely on my average – hideous – looks. Of course, your mileage – and looks – may vary.


5 thoughts on “Lowering Expectations

  1. Yeah I’d check it out but my mileage is so darn high, I would probably be traded in ….in no time at all. As my husband always told me, “The initial buy-in wasn’t bad but your upkeep is killing me.” Yes, I was high maintenance and I’m okay with that.


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