She Blonded Me With Science

Blondie Bennett

Meet Blondie Bennett. Like every person in 2016 America, Blondie wants to be famous. Instead of discovering a new element or curing cancer, Barbie walked a different path.

A California woman who describes herself as Barbie-obsessed says she uses hypnotherapy sessions in the hopes that it will decrease her IQ.

“I just want to be the ultimate Barbie. I actually want to be brainless,” Blondie Bennett, 38, told Barcroft TV. “I don’t like being human, if that makes sense… Natural is boring… I would love to be like, completely plastic.”

Bennett has had five breast augmentations and other procedures in the hopes of attaining her goal. But now she says she’s undergoing hypnotherapy sessions two-to-three times a week in order to dumb down her thoughts.

The hypnotherapist claims Blondie’s mental acuity currently checks in at “Snooki,” but believes she can regress to “Bread Mold.”

9 thoughts on “She Blonded Me With Science

  1. Somehow, it doesn’t seem that she needs that extra added help to be brainless. Her boobs like nice, but so do grapefruits, watermelons, and soccer balls.


  2. I take that back. I followed a few links, found some additional photos, and now, what I’ve seen, cannot be unseen. Those boobs are horrifying. I won’t sleep now for weeks.


  3. RG – No one is a bigger fan of boobs than I, but these things are a train wreck.

    Proof – I am still trying to get my money refunded from her canceled lecture on nuclear fission.


  4. I think she is extremely close to her goal. I am willing to bet a fence post has a higher IQ than this nitwit. The last natural thing she will probably do is vote for Hillary.


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