Hammuda Matata

Oktoberfest Babes

Muslim cleric Ali Hammuda has informed his followers it is permissible to own sex slaves. You know, if you take away the hatred and the terrorism, Islam doesn’t seem half bad.

A hardline Muslim preacher suspected of radicalising three British jihadis told teenage disciples that it is ‘permissible’ under Islam to have sex slaves.

Hammuda tells them: ‘One of the interpretations as to what this means is that towards the end of time there will be many wars like what we are seeing today, and because of these wars women will be taken as captives, as slaves, yeah, women will be taken as slaves.

‘And then, her master has relations with her because this is permissible in Islam, it’s permissible to have relations with a woman who is your slave or your wife.’

Now while this may seem like a win-win on the surface, the fact remains Islam has a severe lack of redheads. I mean, who wants to slum around with brunette sex slaves? Nobody, that’s who.


10 thoughts on “Hammuda Matata

  1. I was going to comment, but reading MeToo’s comment made me laugh out loud and forget what I was going to say. I’ll just pick the one 2nd from the left.


  2. Metoo – I’d be less stringent if the drapes were red, but included hardwood floors.

    RG – I’m not picky. I’d gladly disappoint all of them in bed.

    Cathy – They can finally get a break from all the humps. Heh.


  3. Come on …. Mila Kunis, Jessica Alba, Olivia Wilde, Selena Gomez, Alyssa Milano, Monica Bellucci … the brunette bench is WAY deep enough to stock a pretty good sex slave team!


  4. Wait, South Philly has been working up to this for years. Friday night for the girlfriend, Saturday for the wife. Then there are the guys with too much, well, you know, who slide out Wednesdays and Thursdays too. “Poker nights, honey.”


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