Van Haillin’

Michael Henson Van LoverMeet Michael Henson of Dayton, Ohio.

Ohio is renowned for its many auto assembly plants, as well as its affection for cars. Sadly, Michael took his affection to an entirely new level.

Officers were called to the 700 block of St. Nicholas Street around 8:00 p.m. Tuesday on a report that a man was pulling his pants down and swinging on a stop sign.

Officers put him in the back of a police car and spoke with the woman who called police. She told them she saw the man standing near a parked van at 805 St. Nicholas Street.

She went on to explain she saw Henson pull his shorts down and place his genitals in the front grill of the van that was parked on the street.

In fairness, Henson thought he was actually banging Rebel Wilson.

The woman said he did this for a while then appeared to pass out in a nearby yard.

Henson probably passed out because his Johnson was incinerated by the engine block. The good news is the dolt got the van’s number, so when he receives his one phone call, he’ll be dialing EBT-6060.

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7 thoughts on “Van Haillin’

  1. After seeing his picture, sex with a van is the only way he’s having sex. Love to see that police report. Offense: sexually assaulting a van grille.

    Like

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