This cop – we’ll call him “Courage” – walks into the division with a victim in tow. Courage has the victim sit in the hallway and begins explaining the job.
Apparently, the victim agreed to met a chaste young woman inside a vacant house to negotiate a
drug sex deal. Shocks of all shocks, when the victim arrived, three troubled churchgoing men jumped him, beat him up, and took his drugs money. The victim claimed he “knew the guys from the neighborhood,” but since this is Philadelphia, the victim only knew them by their nicknames – most likely, Spanky, Alfalfa, and Boo.
Okay, it’s a run-of-the-mill bullshit drug deal-turned-robbery. I assigned the job to a detective and he brought the victim in for an interview. Five minutes later, the detective pulled Courage out to the lobby and began berating him, saying things like, “That’s your job!” and so forth. The detective returned, finished the interview, and Courage took the victim home…
The detective came up to the front where the sergeant and I were sitting and explained the shenanigans:
“You’re not going to believe this, but I’m going to tell you, anyway. The cop picks up the victim across the street from where the robbery took place, and even though the victim said the property was vacant, the officer refused to check to see if the doers were still there.”
I replied with a simple, “Wow,” and he continued.
“But wait, there’s more. While driving the victim here, the cop passed one of the doers. The victim said, ‘That’s one of the guys who robbed me!’ but the cop refused to stop.”
At this point, our sergeant was into full-blown facepalm.
“So I ask this cop why the hell didn’t he stop the doer and lock him up. Guess what he tells me? He says, ‘I couldn’t stop him. I was working alone.’ This jackass was too scared to stop a robbery suspect because no one was there to hold his hand. And he’s not new; the guy has five years on the job!”
The moral of the story? If you feel like committing a crime in Philly, please do so when Courage is working. You’ll get away scot-free.