A Wheely Wheely Stupid Politician

cheryl-tunt-oh-my-god-be-more-chineseyNewly-elected Philadelphia City Councilwoman Helen Gym is tackling the important issues facing our fair city. She has been ignoring the skyrocketing homicide rate, rampant unemployment and dreadful public school system, in order to focus on the underlying root of our evils: allegedly racist food truck names.

No, I am not kidding.

Wheely Wheely Good is a popular University City food truck that serves hot pots, spring rolls, and rice balls to hungry Drexel students and faculty on 33rd Street.

“[Gym] approached our truck while we were working and started to argue with my partner and me,” recalls Wheely Wheely Good co-owner Alanna Li. “She told us, ‘Your truck’s name is super-racist.’ She used those words.”

Li went on to explain that Gym also took umbrage at the Asian caricatures painted on the truck, as well as the typeface used in the design.

Li swears the name was simply meant to be a play on the fact that Wheely Wheely Good is a good restaurant on wheels and was in no way, shape, or form intended to evoke any accents or dialects. As for the caricatures on the truck, Li says they are meant to be cartoon versions of her and her partner, Bailin Chen.

For those of you keeping scores at home, typeface is now racist.

Let’s forget for a moment the fact both the councilwoman and the owners of the truck are Asian, which to me should be seen as offsetting penalties when it comes to self-racism. Occasionally, some Asians pronounce the letter “r” like the letter “l.” No Asian pronounces an “r” like a “w.”

Following that logic, the only people who should be offended by the food truck’s name are Barbara Walters and Elmer Fudd.

9 thoughts on “A Wheely Wheely Stupid Politician

  1. TXNick – This stupid bint threatened the owners, saying she would do everything in her power to destroy her business. She is exactly the type of person who should NEVER be elected to office.


  2. The correct answer to her idiotic rant should have been the same as my new go-to response to gun grabbers: “I don’t give a shit what you think.”


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