Pathetic Losers May Now Claim Disability

sexually-handicappedAre you a grossly unattractive person with irreparable body odor? Is your left hand your most vigorous and loyal sexual partner? If so, I offer my congratulations: you are now considered “disabled.”

People who don’t have sex or struggle to find a sexual partner to have children with will now be considered as DISABLED, according to barmy new guidelines set to be announced.

Now in dramatic move the World Health Organisation will change the standard to suggest that a person who is unable to find a suitable sexual partner or is lacking a sexual relationship to have children – will now be equally classified as disabled.

The WHO says the change will give every individual “the right to reproduce.”

Humans do not only have no right to reproduce, but many humans should be permanently barred from ever reproducing. Looking at you, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Moore, and anyone named Kardashian.

Implicit in this decision is the fact these people will be eligible for all rights and benefits – monetary or otherwise – of claiming a disability. This is simply another entitlement for humanity’s leeches.

12 thoughts on “Pathetic Losers May Now Claim Disability

  1. I wonder if I can still get in on this in spite of the fact I have four children. I swear she was not a suitable sex partner!


  2. As someone who is handicapped, this is the biggest load of bull I have heard in a long time and keep in mind that I am older than dirt. Here in Iowa, we have to meet certain criteria to qualify for handicap status and that has been renewed regularly. In my case, I had to do the battery of pulmonary function tests. There are days that my lungs simply don’t move enough air for me to engage in sex and then there are those other days when I have been on prednisone to get the inflammation under control and can have sex anytime…anywhere if I so choose. We have now entered a whole new sphere of absurd when it comes to entitlements in my opinion.


  3. As a handicapped person I resent the Heel out of this.
    I had to fight six years to get on disability. During those years I went through back surgeries 4,5,6,7.
    The last to back surgeries were fusions. There were to cervical fusions.
    And the Damned Losers get disibility because they can not get laid.


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