A Ham-Handed Investigation

ham-and-tunaSpanish police encountered a fishy situation after discovering a half-naked dead man whose genitals were lying inside a tuna can.

A British man found half-naked and tied to a bench at Malaga Airport took a bizarre twist as it emerged he had ham on his buttocks and his genitals were in a can of tuna.

A slice of ham had been placed on each of Steven Allford’s bottom cheeks before he was discovered on Friday morning.

A security guard raised the alarm after discovering him bound to the bench with plastic ties on one of his hands and his leg and his trousers round his ankles just before 9am. Murder squad detectives were called in following initial speculation the 51-year-old had been asphyxiated.

Apparently this poor bastard died with his Prince Albert in a can.

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12 thoughts on “A Ham-Handed Investigation

  1. I know this is missing the entire point of the article but that prosciutto wrapped whatever it is in that picture looks freaking amazing.

    Like

  2. Proof – Especially if its sides are ribbed.

    Jenn – For me, if you don’t have hot peppers on a sammich it isn’t a sammich.

    Mike – Okay, that was freakin’ hilarious!

    Proof – The pigs better bring home the bacon before they’re grilled by the mayor.

    Like

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