True Detective Stories

chappelles-show-knee-high-parkYou may remember “Rosie Perez” from this post in September. She is literally the dumbest, most inept detective in the city.

Rosie was back with a vengeance yesterday, angling for a position in the Stupid Coworkers Hall of Fame. We were busy yesterday with the usual nonsense: “lost” guns, commercial burglaries, and warrant arrests. Most of us were busier than Bill Clinton at a strip club, all except for Rosie.

Rosie was busy with reports, but not police reports.

While walking to the fax machine, I noticed Rosie was furiously typing on her computer. I thought this odd because I had yet to give her an assignment today. Upon further inspection, the document she was working on was titled, “Magic School Bus Essay.” What. The. Frak? Rosie took a break from typing and clicked the minimized window. It expanded to a Google search for images of “The Magic School Bus” children’s television series.

By now everyone knows what Rosie is doing – the coloring was our first clue – so one courageous detective decided he would be “that guy.”

“Um Rosie, what are you doing?”
“Oh honey, I’m doing my kid’s homework.”

“You’re helping your kid, or actually doing the work for your kid?”
“I’m doing the work. Why?”

So while everyone else was swamped with, you know, police work, this bint was coloring – COLORING! – and writing an essay for her elementary school child. Not only is that completely inappropriate, but it also assures her child will turn out to be at least as much a dullard as her mother.

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6 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. The sad thing is that evidently there is little to no difference between what Rosie would write and what an elementary school child would write. Ditto for the coloring. And yet she is gainfully employed. Scary!

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  2. You’re pretty hard on poor Rosie. You should invite her over for sloppy joes. You’re kids could teach her how to write and stay between the lines.

    Oh… and a hearty +1 to FuzzyDad

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  3. FD – Exactly.

    RG – The city deemed this person responsible enough to carry a gun.

    Mike – An almost unbelievable feat, because she is basically a gargoyle in slacks.

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