True Detective Stories

homer-sinpson-duiYou may remember this post from February, where I lamented receiving a court notice for a fifteen-year old DUI case. After ten months of continuances, the case is supposed to go on this morning.

So here I sit outside the courtroom, impatiently waiting for my fifteen-year old case to be called.

The trial should go swimmingly, since I cannot remember the facts of the case, the full name of the defendant, or what the defendant looks like. Fifteen years ago I had only one child, was a patrol officer, and involved in a steamy affair with Naomi Watts, so there is no way I can accurately testify to what happened that evening.

Of course, that hasn’t stopped out DA’s Office from sending out court notices. They won’t follow through on robbery or burglary jobs, but a fifteen-year old DUI, oh they’re all over that!

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6 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. Has the defendant had subsequent DUI’s I wonder? I can’t help but wonder why they are hell bent on pursuing a 15 year old case. Aren’t there better things to spend time, money and resources on in Philly???

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  2. Metoo – The man was arrested in May, 2001, and failed to appear to the preliminary hearing. There was a bench warrant issued, and it took us FIFTEEN YEARS to catch him. Then, they spent a year giving out continuances until today.

    I testified, and the judge found him guilty. Now we may all get on with the rest of our lives, comfortable in the fact a DUI was found guilty.

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  3. I feel your pain, Wyatt. I got called to testify at a 2 year old DUI, that I was not at. Sat outside the courtroom for 4 hours waiting to get called. Judge gave a directed verdict when the state rested. Thanks, assholes!!

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