She Blinded Me With Science Boobies

You know, if I had a dollar for every “scientific study” conducted simply for the purposes of getting nerds close to women, I would have retired a long time ago.

This heaping pile of dung comes from the Czech Republic, which is apparently filled with women who always cover their boobs. Hence. this piece of research.

Thanks to science, we have an answer to the age-old conundrum: Which breasts do men like best?

Large breasts are typically associated with fertility in women, and a plumper chest has long been tipped as the key to the male libido. To test this hypothesis, the scientists quizzed 267 men from different countries on their breast preferences: Brazil, Cameroon, the Czech Republic and Namibia.

The authors wrote in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior: ‘Individual preferences for breast size were variable, but the majority of raters preferred medium sized, followed by large sized breasts. ‘In contrast, we found systematic directional preferences for firm breasts across all four samples.’

As one who earned a doctoral degree in Breast Appreciation, I believe I speak for most men when I say boob preference is a personal decision. Different sizes matter, and Vishnu knows guys like me enjoy a good, perky nipple. My idea of a perfect set of cans are those sported by Katy Perry.

Oh yeah, she puts the lead in my pencil.