Normally, parents could buy animal figurines safe in the knowledge they are purchasing a family friendly toy. Not anymore.
Should toys be anatomically correct? Maybe yes, maybe no. Should a toy horse have a tiny, humanlike penis and balls? That’s a big nope. And if you think the question is only theoretical, I’ve got a toy horse to show you.
The horse first came to everyone’s attention when Bob Velcoro’s daughter got a collection of toy animals for Christmas. “The gorilla, lion, zebra, giraffe, pig, and sheep do not have dicks. Only the horse,” he wrote. Only the horse, with its weird little man-sized dick and testicles, an affront to nature itself.
The toy is sold by a Canadian company called Battat. The company has yet to comment on why some of its animals have genitals, and why some of those genitals look unsettlingly human.
The most unsettling part of this story? The horse’s dingus is twice the size of mine.