A Trojan Hoor

shaearion-davis-of-east-st-louisMeet Shaearion Davis of East St. Louis. (Is there really any other St. Louis?) Shaearion, if that is her real name, was lacking cold cash before a hot date, so she decided to borrow some protection from the local apothecary.

An Illinois woman is jailed on a felony theft charge after she was caught stealing 31 boxes of Trojan condoms from a market. The combined price of the purloined prophylactics exceeded $300.

Shaearion Davis, 25, was arrested Tuesday afternoon following the condom heist at a Schnucks market in Swansea, an Illinois community about 15 miles east of St. Louis, Missouri.

One box of Trojans contain 36 condoms, so in total, Sha-nay-nay swiped 1,116 Jimmy Hats. Not for nothing, but how is this troglodyte having sex once a year, let alone 1,000 times

I mean, cripes, Goodyear doesn’t go through that much rubber in a calendar year!

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8 thoughts on “A Trojan Hoor

  1. Schnuck’s is a regional chain, pretty big, actually. Over 100 stores. They have near me! I love this state. Too bad she wasn’t smuggling some Jimmy Dean sausage while she was at it.

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