Who Wears Thwart Shorts?

safe-shortsIn response to the Muslim invasion of Das Vaterland, a German designer is releasing Islamist-proof underwear for her fellow Fräuleins. Apparently, European women do not appreciate the immigrants’ rapey personalities.

A German company recently sparked controversy after launching a line of women’s underwear that it claims can protect the wearer against sexual assault. Called ‘Safe Shorts’ the underpants are made of a slash and tearing-resistant fabric and feature a combination lock and a loud alarm system that goes off when the pants are tampered with.

Sandra Seilz, the creator of the Short Pants, says that as a frequent jogger she has been thinking about creating a protective garment for women for a long time.

Short Pants feature three different forms of protection against assailants. First, the pants’ drawstrings are made of a very tough material that makes them almost impossible to cut or tear, and the combination lock prevents the attacker from untying them or pulling off the underwear without untying the drawstrings. Then there is the soft protector in the crotch area that prevents assailants from tearing the Soft Pants between the wearer’s legs. Finally, there is the alarm system that produces a loud acoustic signal when it detects the pants are being tampered with. The wearer can also trigger the alarm voluntarily by by sharply pulling the drawstrings to scare off the attackers and as a call for help.

Now yes, Ms. Seilz claims the Safe Shorts were created to repel any random attacker, but let’s be honest; these undergarments were made specifically for Muslim “refugees.”

Be that as it may, I’m considering acquiring a pair for personal use, because Mrs. Earp’s incessant sexual attacks are becoming tiresome.

5 thoughts on “Who Wears Thwart Shorts?

  1. Metoo – It’s true. I’m basically a rape victim. 🙂

    Doc – You’d keep the Islamists at bay while luring in an attractive, gun-toting gentleman. It’s win-win.


  2. Looking at those shorts pictured, I’m wondering what the metal ring the drawstring is looped through is made of. Perhaps a strong set of diagonals to snip this metal ring might become the new muslim rape tool!

    L-Frame S&W


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