While my profession is neither glamorous nor monetarily enriching, it does offer security not found in any occupation on the entire planet Earth. The reason for this is simple: most criminals are repeat offenders. They are repeat offenders because they are outright morons.
Take this South Dakota rocket surgeon, for instance.
Police arrested a 21-year-old Parker man Monday after they say he stole a vehicle just after being released from Pipestone (Minn.) County jail and drove it down to Sioux Falls to meet with his probation officer.
Ashton Brooks White Olsen is charged with one count of possession of a stolen vehicle.
Lt. Kyle Hoekstra of the Sioux Falls Police Department said White Olsen took a car that had been left running. Hoekstra said the cold temperatures and the fact that White Olsen didn’t have a vehicle were the likely the motivation behind the theft.
First of all, nice name; I’m sure it looks great on the back of a hockey jersey. Second, if you commit a crime five minutes after being released from prison, you are simply too stupid to live.