Dude, Where’s My Car?

giorgio-tsoukalosWhile my profession is neither glamorous nor monetarily enriching, it does offer security not found in any occupation on the entire planet Earth. The reason for this is simple: most criminals are repeat offenders. They are repeat offenders because they are outright morons.

Take this South Dakota rocket surgeon, for instance.

Police arrested a 21-year-old Parker man Monday after they say he stole a vehicle just after being released from Pipestone (Minn.) County jail and drove it down to Sioux Falls to meet with his probation officer.

Ashton Brooks White Olsen is charged with one count of possession of a stolen vehicle.

Lt. Kyle Hoekstra of the Sioux Falls Police Department said White Olsen took a car that had been left running. Hoekstra said the cold temperatures and the fact that White Olsen didn’t have a vehicle were the likely the motivation behind the theft.

First of all, nice name; I’m sure it looks great on the back of a hockey jersey. Second, if you commit a crime five minutes after being released from prison, you are simply too stupid to live.


6 thoughts on “Dude, Where’s My Car?

  1. And, this moron is only 21. He’s going to get to look forward to spending many, many years in prison for his stupid antics. Of course, what idiot leaves their unlocked car running??


    1. “what idiot leaves their unlocked car running?” Up in the frozen North, it is not uncommon for any number of people to warm up their cars prior to their commute. Since they’ve been doing it for years with no problem, they always expect the car to be in the driveway when they come back. Folks used to be able to leave their doors unlocked at night, too.
      Simpler times.


  2. Mike – Their idiocy pays my bills.

    Metoo – To add to Mike’s comment, you’d be surprised how many stolen auto reports I’ve made because Philly idiots – in all types of weather – leave the car running to “run in” to a convenience store and come out without a car..


    1. I used to leave my car warming up in the drive and I never used to lock my doors to my home but with the advent of meth and a few other things, I keep everything locked these days.


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