It’s Hip To Be Pare

grosse-pointe-blank-stabbingWhile I rarely look forward to a workday, I am notorious for coming in every day and doing so on time. It’s a responsibility I take seriously. Others are not so conscientious; like this clown, for example.

Case in point, 54-year-old Masaru Miura who wanted to skip work on February 22 so badly that he stabbed himself with a kitchen knife in the bathroom at Nagoya Municipal Subway station, Kasugai. He then proceeded to call the police and tell them that he had been attacked by a total stranger while he was relieving himself.

When police arrived on the scene, they found Masaru trying to stop the bleeding a knife wound on his left hip. They sealed off the scene of the crime and started to question him about the attack he had allegedly been a victim to. He was relieving himself at an urinal when a man holding a large knife simply stabbed him from the back and took off. As they waited for a medical team to take care of the victim’s 2.5 cm-long stab found, policemen kept asking him about the attack, and soon discovered cracks in Masaru’s version of the events.

So much for that fabled Japanese work ethic.

The good news is Masaru did miss work that day. The bad news is he spent it in prison, where many men will be trying to penetrate him while he’s relieving himself.

Yes, that is the delightful Kirsten Dunst. Mmm….

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5 thoughts on “It’s Hip To Be Pare

  1. Metoo – I cry like a baby when I get stuck with a thorn. I cannot imagine impaling myself on purpose.

    Proof – Harry Carey is rolling over in his grave. Wait…

    Like

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