Midwest Thief Goes Hog Wild

An Oklahoma man apparently loves bacon more than any other law-abiding citizen. Of course, law-abiding citizens don’t swipe it and hoof it out of the store while squealing with delight.

Oklahoma City police are searching for a man accused of stealing six packages of bacon from a grocery store by stuffing them inside his shirt.

Only six packages? Pffft, I eat twice that for breakfast, ya piker.

The Oklahoma City Police Department said in a Facebook post the man was confronted by an employee at the Smart Saver store after he was seen hiding six packages of bacon — totaling about $30 worth — inside his shirt.

While this appears serious, all this thief needs is a jury of twelve men – no Muslims – and boom, not guilty. Easy peasey, piglet squeezy.

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