Days Of Blunder

During yesterday’s Caption Contest Winners post, Mike AKA Proof noticed I listed five entries but typed “Top Three Entries.” I noted I was having a terrible, awful, no good day, so I figured I’d take a moment to – like Clarissa – explain it all.

Every Spring I suffer through severe vertigo. My neurologist believes if has something to do with the pollen count, and my allergic reactions. It throws off my equilibrium, and I’ve been staggering around the office all day. Better yet, my sergeant was walking behind me as I was bracing myself against the hall, and when my lieutenant walked by, the sergeant quipped, “He’s been drinking all day, boss.” Thanks, dude. Really.

Halfway through the day, Mrs. Earp sends me a text message stating the team bus left school for their lacrosse game without Kyle. Apparently no one took a head count, so they just left. Now maybe it’s just me, but in two decades of coaching, I have always – ALWAYS – taken roll before the bus pulled out. I immediately sent a text to the head coach – who I am starting to dislike more every day – asking him to wait a minute for Kyle, and ten minutes later he responds with, “Oh, we’re already on the road.”


Now, I never pull rank or expect privileges when I coached, but no one checks to see if the assistant coach’s son is on the bus? You can’t even give me that fucking courtesy? I can’t take roll from work, dipshit, and that’s the work of a coach, not another student.

So now I’m furious, and after being involved in lacrosse for thirty years – I started playing in 1987 – I am now re-retiring. I want nothing to do with this coaching staff anymore, so from now on I’m not “coach.” I’m just a dad.

Mrs. Earp rushed to school, grabbed Kyle and made the hour drive to the field. Kyle played, and played well – winning three out of five face-offs – but the JV lost the game, 7-1. Varsity lost 14-3.

While Mrs. Earp was in Radnor, PA, I was rushing around the house, making dinner, having the other kids do their homework, and preparing for Julia’s dance recital photo night. Hooray. Mrs. Earp usually takes care of dance details, so I am clueless on the subject. I helped Julia get into her dance costume, put her hair into a half-assed ponytail and took her to dance. While there, I was fortunate enough to plow myself through dancers and parents to get the necessary paperwork, fill it out, and hand it to the photographer.

I’m dealing with other health issues, stress issues, and unnecessary bullshit, but those were yesterday’s problems.

Oh, and tonight is the Penn Relays. Erik is running again this year, so we get to fight traffic, fight crowds, and sit in the pouring rain for a few hours. Don’t get me wrong; I love watching Erik run, and the Penn Relays are the most prestigious track event in the nation, but I’m tired, wobbly, and stressed.

10 thoughts on “Days Of Blunder

  1. Ah, yes, the joys of being a parent and having to deal with idiots. I feel bad you are having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad spring. Hope you are soon doing better, Wyatt.


  2. L-Frame – Mrs. Earp brought him home. That’s usually not policy – the team is supposed to depart and arrive on the bus – but Mrs. Earp was not in a mood to be trifled with that day.


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