Choking Back The Tears

Meet Richard Henry Patterson. (His friends call him Dick.)

Dick is currently being charged with the murder of his girlfriend, and while he admits to killing her, his excuse is unparalleled in the history of jurisprudence.

Richard Patterson is accused of strangling Francisca Marguinez in Margate, Florida.

He claims that he has a large penis and she choked to death on it while performing oral sex.

Man, if I had a nickel for every time that happened to one of my girlfriends I’d have five nickels.

Patterson’s defence lawyer, Ken Padowitz, asked the judge to allow Patterson to show his penis to the jury, judge, lawyers and a bailiff. He said that it was ‘essential’ so that they fully understand what he is talking about.

Strangely enough, I believe it is essential to show my penis to juries… which is why the department does not allow me to testify anymore.


7 thoughts on “Choking Back The Tears

  1. He is 65 years old and white, for Pete’s sake! I’m not buying what he’s selling and I’m willing to bet the jury won’t either. Wait, I need to know how tall he is and then I may take that second statement back.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What bothered me about the report at the link was when they said they couldn’t determine cause of death because of the amount of decomposition of her body. How long did this jerk wait to call someone!!


  2. OK, if I were on the jury and he demonstrated the alleged large size of his Anthony Weiner, I’d still find him guilty. The only way to choke a person to death in that manner is if you won’t let go, no one will willingly hold themselves in that position until they are unconscious.

    L-Frame S&W


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