Dick is currently being charged with the murder of his girlfriend, and while he admits to killing her, his excuse is unparalleled in the history of jurisprudence.
Richard Patterson is accused of strangling Francisca Marguinez in Margate, Florida.
He claims that he has a large penis and she choked to death on it while performing oral sex.
Man, if I had a nickel for every time that happened to one of my girlfriends I’d have five nickels.
Patterson’s defence lawyer, Ken Padowitz, asked the judge to allow Patterson to show his penis to the jury, judge, lawyers and a bailiff. He said that it was ‘essential’ so that they fully understand what he is talking about.
Strangely enough, I believe it is essential to show my penis to juries… which is why the department does not allow me to testify anymore.