The Oxford Karma

Meet Lavinia Woodward.

Lavinia is a student at Oxford University who majors in medical science and minors in alcohol and drugs. Sadly, the aspiring heart surgeon does not attend psychiatry classes.

Lavinia Woodward, 24, swiped at her boyfriend with the blade, before stabbing him in the leg. She then hurled a laptop, a glass and a jam jar at him, during the drink and drug-fuelled clash at Christ Church college, Oxford.

Judge Ian Pringle said the offence would normally mean a prison term, but instead delayed sentencing and slapped her with a restraining order to stay drug-free and not to re-offend.

“It seems to me that if this was a one-off, a complete one-off, to prevent this extraordinary able young lady from not following her long-held desire to enter the profession she wishes to, would be a sentence which would be too severe.”

So this drug-addled psychopath will avoid prison because she’s pretty and she promised to turn her life around? What happened to the good old days when we threw people like this into the Tower of London?

Defending, James Sturman QC said his client’s dreams of becoming a surgeon were ‘almost impossible’ as her conviction would have to be disclosed.

Well, if nothing else, we know Lavinia is good with a knife.


4 thoughts on “The Oxford Karma

  1. Wonder what the outcome would be if a young man had done the same thing……. Just kidding. I know he would be sitting in the pokey by now.


  2. Remember the afluenza teen in Texas? I have a feeling little Lavinia will ef-up and finally do some jail time. Hopefully no one will be hurt.


  3. Metoo – Or death row.

    Proof – Braless! So not only is the case dismissed, but she received a lavish cash award!

    Cathy – Well, since men are, well, men, there will be plenty of other saps lining up to boink her.


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