Guns And Hoses

Why is it always Florida?

A Jacksonville man is recovering after exercising his second amendment rights during the Independence Day weekend.

A convicted felon accidentally shot himself in the penis after sitting on his gun in his car on Friday.

The 38-year-old did not notice the weapon lying on the driver’s seat when he sat down. Panicked, he is said to have run into a stranger’s house on Freedom Crossing Trail and straight into the bathroom.

Yes, because guns just go off when you sit on them. Apparently the magic bullet came out from under this ass’s ass, turned – in midair, mind you – and struck his dingus. Totes believable.

As a convicted felon in possession of a firearm, this jackass is going back to prison. The real shame of all this is he is going to need his penis, now more than ever.