The only thing worse than being dragged to see The Emoji Movie – seriously, it received a 1 out of 10 at Rotten Tomatoes – is having to watch it with a serial masturbator.
A New Jersey mom, who had taken her children to watch the new release at the Xscape Movie Theater on Route 9 in Howell on Friday, was disgusted to see a man sat alone at the back of the room, with his pants unzipped.
She reported him to the theater manager, who ordered him to leave and called the cops. A few days later, Abraham Parnes, 43, turned himself in after an anonymous tip led police to his identification.
Okay, I could see someone doing this while watching, say, Fifty Shades of Grey, but during The Emoji Movie? Surrounded by children? Dude, what the f**k is wrong with you?