Susan is a rational, centered woman who spends her time enjoying the finer things in life; anger, alcohol, knives, and free-flowing boobies.
Susan Kettell, 39, of Sandwich, was driving a blue Ford Explorer on Saturday when police received a call from another driver who claimed the woman tried to crash into the victim’s car. Kettell then pulled behind the victim’s vehicle at a red light and began waving a double-edged dagger.
Kettell then allegedly got out of the Explorer and ripped off her shirt before running bare-chested toward the victim’s car while flailing the knife. The caller who contacted police, meanwhile, drove off.
Police stated it was unclear if the caller sped away because he was afraid of the knife, or afraid of the saggy titties.
Kettell, who police say was intoxicated at the time, was later found and placed under arrest.
The first sign of intoxication was most likely Kettell’s mug shot, above. Yes, that is her actual mug shot, and no, she does not look batshit insane at all.