Young Couple Arrested For Fore-Play

A South Carolina couple were arrested after gripping shafts and washing balls on a local golf course.

Officers were dispatched around 7:25 PM to the Tega Cay Golf Club “in reference to an indecent exposure,” according to a police report. A witness reported that a man and woman “were having intercourse on hole #8 of the golf course.”

It would have been funnier if they were boinking on holes #6 and #9, amirite?

When a patrolman arrived at the links, he spotted a “male with no shorts on and a female that appeared to only have a bra on.” The woman, the officer reported, “was on her back and the male was laying down with his head between her legs performing oral sex.”

Oh for cripes’ sake, the guy was just trying to “read the green.”

The cop instructed the pair “multiple times” to put their clothing back on. He subsequently arrested Dakota Payne, 19, and Kiernan Hennessey, 24.

Neither participant heard the officer because they were busy celebrating their hole-in-one.

As first reported by the Fort Mill Times, the complaining witness told police that when he first spotted individuals laying down in the fairway, he “thought that someone was possibly having a medical issue.” Those concerns were allayed when the man used a pair of binoculars and “saw the male with his head between the female’s legs.”

Pfft, he was just trying to give the poor girl CPR like any good samaritan, and this over-officious police officer carts them away.

7 thoughts on “Young Couple Arrested For Fore-Play

  1. I’m guessing the complaining witness was a horny old guy. Unless they were damaging the green, who cares? Leave them a tip and tell them you enjoyed the show.


  2. Metoo – I only called police because my binoculars couldn’t catch all the action!

    Proof – I’ve usually had a fifth by time I get to the 8th.


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