Florida Man Set His Penis To Stun

Meet James Bundrick from Clearwater, Florida.

James is a Star Trek fan, and while he makes no bones about it, James’ actions rub some people the wrong way.

Clearwater police were called to a bus stop on Gulf to Bay Boulevard around 11:20 a.m. Monday for a report of a lewd and lascivious act.

Responding officers say they found a man sitting on a bench touching himself under his shorts. In an arrest report, police noted it was “obvious” the man was masturbating. When officers asked what he was doing, the man told them, “I’m scratching myself.”

The arrest report states the man told police his name was “James Tiberius Kirk,” the full name of the fictional character Captain Kirk from Star Trek.

Before his arrest, James held up one hand, spread his sticky fingers, and shouted, “Live long, and masturbate.”

8 thoughts on “Florida Man Set His Penis To Stun

  1. As Spock would say, “Love long and perspire.”

    I’m beginning to think Trump should get a wall built around Flori-duh and just send all wackos, dems, and illegals there. Put bleachers around the wall. I want the popcorn concession.


  2. “Live LONG and …” That’s got to be a classic! We know where one of his hands was, did the other have a joint in it that he was smoking?


    1. Are you insinuating that he was smoking and stroking simultaneously? Next you will claim he could walk and chew gum at the same time. 🙂


  3. TXNick – Or at least a paella stand.

    Mike – Look at him; I think the cray-cray would overwhelm any drug he ingests.

    Cathy – What, you’re not a fan of his rugged good looks?

    Mike – Right before he yelled, “I need more power!”


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