Study: Less People Doing Humpty Dance

A new report claims Americans as a whole – heh, phrasing – are having less sex than ever before. I’m convinced a major factor is the rise of ugly, ugly people in this country: myself included.

We are, as a society, having much less sex than we used to. Reporter Belinda Luscombe delved into research that indicates people everywhere are just not entertaining themselves by fornicating anymore. Why?

Fewer Marriages: When fewer people are coupling up in stable, shared homes, there’s less sex happening. The median age for marriage in the U.S. has gone up, which means delays in finding a steady sex partner.

Kids: The sex commitment shifts after you have children. Surprisingly, if their kids are under the age of six, people will still pretty much keep banging.

Smart Phones: Kids are a huge distraction, but we have plenty of other smaller distractions that are making us forget to fornicate. Sex is fun: It’s a form of entertainment, on a very basic level. If you’re getting your entertainment needs met by Netflix or on your phone, you might not reach for it elsewhere.

Pfft, just do what I do; have sex while gaming on the PlayStation. Sure the controller gets a little, uh, “goopy,” but it’s worth the effort.

6 thoughts on “Study: Less People Doing Humpty Dance

  1. I suspect “smart phones” are the major part of it. Hardly anyone who has one really interacts with the people around them. When the Japanese invent one with a yah-yah, that will be the end of the human race.


  2. Obviously, these idiots have no idea what they are missing out on. I had some great moments in a ’67 GTO, The Hilton Hawaiian Village hotel lagoon in Honolulu, the elevator in Chicago at the……never mind. You know what I’m trying to convey.


  3. TXNick – Smartphones are great, but you’re right; Americans have become dependant upon them. It’s making people ever more antisocial – if that’s possible.

    Cathy – Well, they can’t miss sex if they never had it.

    Ronni – Holy crap, you were the female Archer back in the day! 🙂

    (And sorry about my disappearance today. It’s been an awful, awful day. I’ll explain tomorrow.)


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