Tea Is For Terror

A central Pennsylvania man is lucky to be alive after his elderly uncle tried to murder him with a pistol and a shotgun. And people worry about talking politics on Thanksgiving.

Andrew Roberts, 39, testified he and his uncle had argued about the younger man forgetting to buy iced tea, and then he heard William Roberts “stomping his feet like he was a child” as he went up the stairs to his bedroom.

I’d shoot someone if they forgot some Wawa Diet Peach iced tea, but the tea is literally from Heaven.

Roberts said he was sitting at his computer desk around 11:25 a.m. when his uncle entered the room and fired seven shots, hitting him in the head, wrist and both legs. He told the judge he fell to the floor, but gathered the strength to limp out of the home when his uncle went back to his bedroom to reload his handgun.

His voice trembling with emotion, Andrew Roberts described crawling into a hole near his house and covering himself with leaves and poison ivy. As his uncle walked by, carrying a revolver and shotgun.

When his uncle headed toward the back of the property, Andrew Roberts crawled into the road, hoping to find help. An Upper Saucon police car pulled up just as his uncle sped toward him in the golf cart, still carrying the guns.

Luckily, the police stopped Phil Dick-elson before he was able to finish the job. And I mean, really, who chases someone with a golf cart?

7 thoughts on “Tea Is For Terror

  1. Ingineer – Heh, thanks. I always liked him because he’s a lefty – as am I – and his wife is crazy stupid hot.

    TXNick – The living, breathing definition of “Pennsyltucky.”


  2. On the plus side, the uncle should be in jail so everyone can enjoy Christmas with or without tea. Something tells me the uncle should have been having mental health treatments.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s