This Angel Must’ve Phelps From Heaven

Meet Rebecca Lynn Phelps of, well, guess the state.

Rebecca got into trouble with the law after assaulting her partner for refusing to have sex. Yep, Rebecca is a real fireplug; or is it butt-plug?

Rebecca Lynn Phelps, 31, was arrested for domestic battery following a confrontation in the Tampa-area home she shares with the victim and the couple’s child.

Phelps’s arrest was the second time in 14 months that she was busted for allegedly battering a man who did not want to have sex with her.

Investigators allege that the victim was sleeping late Thursday night when Phelps entered their bedroom seeking to have sex. After Phelps groped her partner’s private parts, the “victim said no and went back to sleep.” Phelps subsequently returned to the bedroom and started “tapping” the man’s leg. “The victim pretended to be asleep to ignore the defendant who is intoxicated,” cops noted.

Phelps then allegedly “scratched the victim on his left eye causing it to swell and turn black and blue.” Phelps, who told cops she did not touch the victim, was arrested on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge. She was released yesterday morning from the county jail after posting $100 bond.

I imagine Rebecca pulled a Pam Poovey and told police, “I’m a desirable, full bodied woman but nobody will have sex with me! And I have so much love to give!”

Actually, if we’re being honest, compared to most of the women we see assaulting guys for not banging them, Rebecca is practically Kate Freakin’ Upton.

6 thoughts on “This Angel Must’ve Phelps From Heaven

  1. I’m on a job down in “guess the state,” and have a request: If I start posting some really stupid comments, please get me out of here before the brain damage becomes permanent.


  2. I didn’t know red-blooded males ever refused sex. Hmm….I’m guessing she’s just not that great in bed. a legend in her own mind evidently.


  3. TXNick – I’ll send the SWAT team.

    Ronni – Yes, it’s against the Man Code.

    Cathy – Not even with this woman. 31? Wow, that’s a rough paper route.


  4. My wife works at an OB/GYN clinic, and she could give you a “Top Ten” why even the reddest-blooded male would give the “wave-off.” I’m betting that woman might have at least two fo them.


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