It’s Funny When It Happens To Him

Ladies and gentlemen, set your faces to stunned. Rapper Chris Brown was arrested in France after allegedly raping a woman.

American R&B singer Chris Brown has been arrested in Paris on suspicion of rape.

A 25-year-old woman has accused Brown of raping her on the evening of January 15 at a five-star hotel in the French capital.

Brown and two other people – one of whom is believed to be his bodyguard – are in custody in Paris today as police investigate allegations of sexual assault and ‘drug infractions’. He is alleged to have met the woman at a nightclub near the Champs-Elysees and taken her back to the Mandarin Oriental hotel, where he is accused of having attacked her.

A source close to the case claimed today that ‘a number of the suspects were carrying cocaine, which police found at the hotel after responding to a complaint.’ Brown has been arrested awaiting potential charges of ‘aggravated rape and drug infractions’, officials said.

Okay, I’m calling bullshit on this one. No one, and I mean no one, believes rappers use cocaine. This story is absolutely, positively fake news.

8 thoughts on “It’s Funny When It Happens To Him

  1. I agree. This gorgeous hunk of male masculinity does not need cocaine to bribe a woman into having sex with him. Silly peeps. He uses the bodyguard to force them.

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  2. Let’s see, she went back to his hotel with him, other women, and three male hangers-on, and then was surprised she was raped? She probably thought he was just going to let her join his Bible study group…after doing cocaine….clubbing….returning to his hotel…what’s wrong with this picture??…

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  3. Changing his accommodations from a five star hotel to a five bar cell was an act of brilliance. I wonder what his next trick will be. (Or will he be someone else’s next trick?)

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