The Jewel In The Crown

Meet Samantha Jewel Hernandez.

Okay, that’s actually Pam Poovey from Archer, but she’s here to make a point. Samantha was arrested by Vero Beach police officers for assaulting her fiance after he declined her sexual advances. So, just another day in Flori-duh.

Officers responding early this morning to a disturbance call at a Vero Beach apartment building encountered Samantha Jewel Hernandez, 21, sans clothes and in an ornery mood. Hernandez denied doing anything to her fiancée, “but was too intoxicated” to provide further information.

The victim, 21, told police that Hernandez “wanted to engage him in sexual intercourse,” which he declined. “Hernandez was angry at the fact that [the victim] did not want to have sex and began attacking him, striking him in the face and ripping his shirt.”

After being placed in the rear of a police cruiser, Hernandez “maliciously spit” on the arm of a patrolman “while yelling profanities.” As a result, she was charged with battery on a police officer, a felony.

She had me until she spit on the officers. Now to the Pam Poovey point: the females in these stories are always morbidly obese with terrible grooming habits, right? take a look at Samantha below the fold. (I know what you’re thinking, but no, this is not a trick.)

Now call me crazy, but I think Samantha is rather pretty, and definitely bangable, drunk or not.

Am I wrong? I mean, if I am, I am, but I would destroy this girl.

9 thoughts on “The Jewel In The Crown

  1. TXNick – I could do without the bangs, but otherwise, she’s pretty.

    Mike – It got me through college.

    Jim – Just keep her away from the alcohol, and you should be just peachy.

    Ronni – You take the good with the bad.

    Like

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