Believe. All. Women.

You may find this difficult to believe, but the former Vice-President of the United States is actually a creepy, lecherous degenerate who routinely preys on women.

After decades of misconduct, the 2014 Democratic nominee for lieutenant governor of Nevada – Lucy Flores – has come forward with her story.

I found my way to the holding room for the speakers, where everyone was chatting, taking photos, and getting ready to speak to the hundreds of voters in the audience. Just before the speeches, we were ushered to the side of the stage where we were lined up by order of introduction. As I was taking deep breaths and preparing myself to make my case to the crowd, I felt two hands on my shoulders. I froze. “Why is the vice-president of the United States touching me?”

I felt him get closer to me from behind. He leaned further in and inhaled my hair. I was mortified. I thought to myself, “I didn’t wash my hair today and the vice-president of the United States is smelling it. And also, what in the actual fuck? Why is the vice-president of the United States smelling my hair?” He proceeded to plant a big slow kiss on the back of my head. My brain couldn’t process what was happening. I was embarrassed. I was shocked. I was confused. There is a Spanish saying, “tragame tierra,” it means, “earth, swallow me whole.” I couldn’t move and I couldn’t say anything. I wanted nothing more than to get Biden away from me. My name was called and I was never happier to get on stage in front of an audience.

Now if I recall, the Brett Kavanaugh hearings taught us we need to believe all women, so I fully expect Joe Biden will withdraw his candidacy for President, and slink into obscurity forever more.

10 thoughts on “Believe. All. Women.

  1. She should have taken Uncle Joe’s advice and torched off a couple of rounds over his head from a double barrelled 12 gauge.

    I sure enjoy watching liberals fight among themselves. Guess the DNC wants to get him out of the picture early. Too easy.

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  2. The unfortunate fact is, in this country, there is a double standard for ANY misbehavior… that which applies to liberals, who can buy or argue their way out of just about anything untoward, and that which applies to the rest of us. Until we fix this, we are doomed.

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  3. RG – He;s an old white male, and many Dems are on record stating they don’t want to cater to white males in 2020.

    Ronni – I don’t think the networks can cover for him, especially over a wise Latina fellow Democrat.

    Cathy – The Dem-on-Dem violence is better than anything Hollywood puts out.

    Mike47 – Agreed. We can start by investigating Clinton and Obama for the Russian collusion hoax.

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  4. What cracks me up is that this story wouldn’t have seen the light of day if the power players behind the scenes didn’t want him gone. Just like Jonny-boy Edwards.

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  5. Mike47 – And make his half-brother a member of the prosecution.

    MelP – Exactly. Apparently Slow Joe is apologizing, claiming, “I never intended to make people uncomfortable.” Sure ya did, Joe. Sure ya did.

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    1. I don’t know how any parent, aunt, uncle, …anyone could watch this compilation and still vote for this predator. He passed creepy decades ago.

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