Meet Jeymie Wescott of, well, guess the state. Jeymie was just trying to enjoy her Burger King onion rings, when she provided police officers with a Whopper of a tale.
Police were called to a Burger King in reference to “a female snarling and yelling at staff.” When officers arrived, they detected “several indicators of narcotics usage” on the part of Jeymie Wescott. The 35-year-old consented to a search of her “property and person.”
During a pat down, Wescott “pulled away” as an officer “searched the right side of her groin area.” The cop reported feeling “something hard in her vagina area.”
I’m guessing it wasn’t a dozen of BK’s chicken fries.
Wescott, investigators say, was “given many opportunities on scene to tell deputies what the contraband was in her vagina but refused to.” Warned that she would face additional charges if “the contraband was introduced into the jail,” Wescott “still refused to say what the contraband was.”
It was only after Wescott was at the Pinellas County lockup that she relented and “removed 7 syringes from her vagina” in the presence of three jailers. “The syringes had a clear substance inside.”
So basically, Jeymie’s vagina is the gynecological equivalent of the Grand Canyon. Oh look, she offers helicopter rides to the bottom of the chasm! Sign me up.
And before you ask, yes, I would probably hit it like the hammer of an angry god… not that Jeymie would feel anything.