Gonna Make You Sweat

The FBI is looking for a woman they dubbed the “sweatpant bandit,” who has been committing bank robberies in Oklahoma City. Apparently the amazing economy hasn’t reached the flatlands yet.

“She enters the bank, and it’s a verbal demand,” said Andrea Anderson, Public Affairs Specialist for the FBI Oklahoma City. “Very aggressive. She’s left each bank with an undisclosed amount.”

So far, the ‘Sweatpant Bandit’ has robbed four Oklahoma City metro banks, hitting one of them twice. She’s committed one robbery a month from December to May but skipped March.

Apparently she was busy watching March Madness, since I doubt she’s a big Easter fan.

“One of the things that we would ask folks to be on the lookout is that she does show up in very heavy sweatpant attire, full length sweatpants from head to toe, a hoodie over her head, dark sunglasses,” Anderson said.

She’s described as a 5’3 to 5’6 white female, weighs about 110 lbs, is in her late 30s to mid 40s and sometimes carrying a floral print bag.

So the FBI just described every teenage girl in Philadelphia. Don’t believe me, try driving through Northeast Philadelphia, and count the number of teenagers – and twenty-somethings – walking the streets in their sweatpants and slippers. I am not kidding.

5 thoughts on “Gonna Make You Sweat

  1. OK, is it just me or is someone in sweatpants not a lethal weapon? Are there no security guards in Oklahoma? A teenage chick walks in and demands money and they give it to her??!!!

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  2. I have seen the things in sweats & slippers roaming around walmart. Those things are scarey! And what is it with the slippers? Are laces too much for their little brains?

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  3. William – Most banks inform tellers to give them money, no questions asked. It’s easy pickings, but it’s also a federal crime, so when this bint gets caught, she’s going away for a very long time.

    Cathy – At least put on some flip-flops.

    J-Dub – You’d think they would not be very practical in a tornado. Practically a parachute waiting to happen.

    Ronni – I wear them to church and job interviews. The Dude abides.

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