Darwin Wins Again

Meet Randall Stephens of Alabama.

Randall was recently released from prison, serving time for weapons and narcotics charges. In an effort to seize the day, Randall quickly turned his life around… by allegedly attempting to steal electricity.

An Alabama man was electrocuted while attempting to steal power from a utility pole. Calhoun County Sheriff Matthew Wade identified the victim as Randall Stephens, 56.

Stephens was released from the Calhoun County Jail on May 16. He had been serving time since October 2018 for gun and drug charges.

Stephens’ death was discovered after his skull was found in a neighbor’s front yard. The rest of his body was found “badly decomposed” at the bottom of a power pole. A ladder was next to the pole along with a belt and jumper cables at the top.

Interestingly, there is also a good chance we’ll find Charlie Sheen’s naked, lifeless body lying next to a belt, jumper cables, and a sleeping Tawny Kitaen.

5 thoughts on “Darwin Wins Again

  1. To qualify for a Darwin Award, one has to off him or herself prior to breeding, and in a spectacular way. (No doubt the flash was spectacular.) As ugly as that dude was, I doubt if he had any woman so desperate as to want to bump pee-pees with him. And if he was doing serious drugs, it is doubtful he would be able to get his ding-dong to stand at attention long enough to plow the field.

    So, that being said, I suspect there aren’t any Randalls running around in Alabama. Hence, I’d agree this is a true Darwin Award winner. (Let us hope.)


  2. Ronni – “Hots,” I see what you did there.

    Proof – Yeah, they stink on ice. Oh, wrong movie.

    TXNick – After all the good things I’ve hears, this takes ‘Bama down a notch for me.


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