A Slice Of Heaven

Meet Leonard Thomas of Clearwater, Florida.

Leonard is a handsome, outgoing fellow looking for love in the Sunshine State. While his technique needs a little work, his love interests always get the point.

A man in Clearwater is facing aggravated assault charges after he pulled a machete on a woman who refused to date him.

Clearwater Police arrested Leonard Thomas, 55, just before 7 p.m. on Friday night.

Police say Thomas and the victim were arguing when he became angry because she wouldn’t date him. Thomas pulled the machete from a sheath on his belt and raised it toward the victim and said “I’ll cut you up.”

No, no, no, Leonard said, “I’ll butter you up.” For Pete’s sake, it’s called being romantic, people!

4 thoughts on “A Slice Of Heaven

  1. The next time some old goat asks me out, the first thing I will look for is a knife on his belt. Thankful Leonard is in Florida and nowhere near me. One more reason I’m looking at western Texas or New Mexico for retirement. I will just assume we are both “packing”. (phrasing)


  2. Ronni – Definitely. I can’t – and won’t – stay in this city. I want to see what it’s like to live in a red state for a change, and hopefully deal with slightly less idiots.

    Cathy – Maybe he was cutting down coconuts?


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