True Detective Stories

Since my division doesn’t handle homicides – we have a unit for that – the most important assignments we see are robberies and shootings. Our division is a hotbed of each, so solving these crimes is important; not only to the assigned detective, but also the commanders.

On Wednesday, we received a call that a T-Mobile store was robbed. Mobile phone stores are robbed frequently in this city, because it’s basically a snatch and grab, and no employees ever confront the thugs. This time, someone did.

The thug entered the T-Mobile store, pulled out a pair of wire cutters, snapped a few cords, and fled the scene with a few high-end cellphones. As he was trying to flee, an employee attempted to stop him. The thug grabbed the cutters and threatened the employee with it. Congratulations dipshit, you just graduated from retail theft to robbery…

I gave the information to the assigned detective, and he headed out to process the scene. After about ten minutes, the assigned called me and said, “The idiot cops didn’t hold the scene. Apparently their sergeant told them they could release the scene and just wait for detectives to arrive.”

*There is a departmental directive which states the assigned detective has complete and total control of crime scenes. In theory, the mayor could walk onto my scene and I could order him out of the area. We’ve actually done that once or twice with sergeants and lieutenants. Either way, the directive states detectives are the boss at scenes.

The detective continued…

“Not only that, but the manager opened the doors and customers have been streaming in and out. How the f**k am I supposed to process this scene with a dozen people walking around?!”

Stunned by the insanity, I offered helpful advice: “Look, see if there’s an office and interview everyone there.”

Wait for it

“Yeah, I can’t, because the employees said they’ll be right with us after they’re done helping the customers.”

4 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. As the police, can’t you just tell everyone to listen for a moment, explain the situation and start interviewing employees one at a time? As a customer, I would certainly understand there is protocol to be followed.


  2. Ronni – What TXNick said. My division is full of entitled minions who couldn’t care less about the police, or their crime scene.

    TXNick – I hate the city a little more every day.


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