This has been a busy week. I’m off night work for two weeks – after one night where I entered 37 jobs – so I can prepare for waking up at 5:40am for a while. On my last day I asked my lieutenant if I could change my group as well. I’ll still be in the same division, but I’ll be working with my squad all the time, instead of a two-day crossover. It’ll mean a little less work on my end, and I won’t be responsible for entering cases from my squad and the other squad.
On Tuesday I had to go food shopping, buy new work pants, and new work shirts. Apparently I am now a 34-inch waist, down from a 36, and my weight is stalling between 181 and 183 pounds. When I wear the 36 pants with my firearm, they sag like a rapper’s ensemble. Can’t have that…
I headed to Boscov’s and start looking for dress shirts, but I don’t know my new sizes. Thankfully, there is a tailor at that store who’s been there for years. Older man, perfect gentleman, and knows his stuff. I walked up to him and asked, “Sorry to bother you, but I lost thirty pounds and I don’t know my new shirt size.”
The tailor smiles and says, “Well, I can tell you what size you are now, but not where you’d like to be or where you were before.”
“That’s great, because I used to be Mr, Olympia.” (The tailor laughs.)
The tailor pulls out his tape measure and starts checking. I’m getting worried because I assume I’ll still be the fat-necked 17 1/2 collar. The tailor measures my neck and says, “15 1/2 inches.”
I wanted to cry tears of joy. I haven’t been a 15 1/2 since high school. The tailor continued. “Put your hand between the tape and your neck. The hand’s with is usually a good safe zone, so I’d suggest you get a 16-inch collar and – looks me up and down – a 32-33 sleeve.” (He never measured my arms, but I implicitly trusted him.)
I thanked him profusely and bought five new shirts. On the way home, I started doubting things. What if he was wrong? Those measurements can’t be right, etc., etc. I got home, put away the groceries and ran upstairs to try on the shirts.
EVERY. ONE. FIT. PERFECTLY!
I’m currently a 15 1/2 collar. It’s a Christmas miracle!